Friday, September 23, 2011

to distinguish, see clearly and to be in the now

Desikachar translation: "This clarity makes it possible to distinguish objects even when the distinction is not apparently clear. Apparent similarity should not deter one from the distinct perception of a chosen object."

Iyengar: "By this the yogi is able to distinguish unerringly the differences in similar objects which cannot be distinguished by rank, qualitative signs or position in space." (3.54)

The first thing I have to do - is to remind myself of "what" is this sutra referring to... It referres to last weeks sutra and how we can be set free from our stories about time and get into the clarity of the present moment.

Oh!! I'm having a revelation right now :-) This is why it is so important to share a moment with someone!!! in the moment we are clearly at one with whatever we are experiencing and as soon as the experience is "over" there is only a subjective story of an experience. If I have traveled to a place with someone this experience is alive in the now when we meet afterwards. If I saw a concert with someone the concert is alive in the moment we meet.
Well this sutra gives me some words to why it makes such a big difference to be together - it is in the clarity and authenticity in the here and now.

In my asana work this brings about why it is so vital to go to a teacher and to take classes - to share the experience - and no story about these can replace the direct wordless being together.

In asana and teaching it moves me into working with the "here and now" the wordless experience and the search for clarity.
Letting go of old stories and fear of coming stories.

It fit well (again) since I just borrowed a bunch of books and Cd's on the subject mindfulness. I have only tried a little of this, since every time I try it I can't figure out why this should be something other than yoga. But now I finally decided to educate myself a bit :-)

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Moment and movement...

This feels like a very important and dense sutra.
As I read it, its about being in the present moment and reality.
Desikachars translation: "Samyama on time and its sequence brings about absolute clarity."
Desikachar gives us two definitions: "Clarity is the ability to see distinctly the difference between one object and another and to see each object in its totality without impediments." "Time is relative. It exists only by comparison of one moment with another. A unit of time is.. a representation of change." Change means that one characteristic have been replaced by another. We need to meditate on and integrate the link between time and change.

This is the why and the how of "a daily practice". We need to have a daily practice to be able to study, meditate on and integrate the difference between what changes and what is still. What is undisturbed and what is affected and transient. (new word for me - a good one!)
How to have a daily practice in the present moment is described by Iyengar: "One of the reasons why, as a teacher of asana, I'm so intense, and was in the past even harsh, is that I wanted to give the students one and a half hours of present life in a lesson." I recognize this, both as a teacher and as a student, when the demand and the challenge meet my ability and possibilities I land in the present moment - always in my teaching, and most times when taking classes. (I've only once left a yoga class because it was,,, well bad, and only very few out of hundreds have been boring, and this might just as well have been my state of mind as the teaching..)

I can relate to the description of the "now" as a timeless, changeless and sacred moment; "Moment comes between rising impression and their restraints and vice versa: it is a quiet intervining state, auspicious and pure, and is to be stabilized, prolonged and expanded so that consciousness becomes absolute."
It relates to my experience on meditating on the breath, the point in between inhaling and exhaling, and exhaling and inhaling. Where I start of with the quest to find the exact point in time where we go from one to the other, and by this is given prolonged pauses between the rise of the inhalation and the falling of the exhalation. I also have this amazing experience with meditating on the space between two thoughts. It also relates to the hatha-yoga teacher training I first took, that accentuated every pause between two asanas - gave time to experience the effect of the asana done and the neutrality on the inner palate, to be ready for the next asana.

Iyengar writes that; "Movement is timebound, transient and ever-changing", that movement of mind creates psychological time, and movements of moments creates chronological time (past and future..).
In yoga we are to stay attentive to the moment, not to the movement of moments.
The promise is that this will make it possible for us to stay undisturbed.
We need to stay undisturbed to see what is reality and connect to it.

So for this week - to be in the stillness between movement and stay attentive to the moment and not the movement.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

moving towards freedom

"The temptation to accept the respectful status as a consequence of acquiring knowledge through samyama should be restrained. Else, one is led to the same unpleasant consequences that arise from all obstacles to Yoga."(Desikachar translation)
Desikachar adds that obstacles can include false identity and he specifies that high learning is a smaller goal to the yogi than everlasting freedom.

This sutra reminds me of my goal. This is the most important; to become free or unfold being free! I'm grateful for the reminder.
Higher knowledge or more understanding is fine - clarity of vision and wisdom is a beauty - but it's not the goal. Being free is.

In asana "being free" means, to me, for example to be still while arms or legs moves, or to be at ease even though there is an effort (strength/flexibility)to invest.
In life "being free" means, to me, today :-) I'm not attached - to my work, role as girlfriend, mother, daughter, friend, bike owner :-) hihi to you liking me - to your approval of my writing or being or doing.

I have repulsive feelings both when I idealize someone but also when I'm being idealized - today I know this is a healthy reaction, to not be attracted by this, because it is a false identity.