changes and stillness

2.20
My kids got back today!! I have some trouble thinking about other things :-)
“The seer is pure consciousness. He witnesses nature without being reliant on it.” (Iyengar translation)
I read, my inner seer witness change and have peace with it. My inner seer (feminine Danish form: “seerske”) is always present. The position as detached observer is always a possible position.
Thanks. That’s a relief to know.
Iyengar makes me aware of intelligences as part of the material world, and therefore also changing. Or maybe the other way around? Since intelligence and perception changes it is a part of material world, which is dominated by change.
Desikachar makes me aware of that the seer always perceives through the mind and senses and is coloured by the state of my mind and senses. I guess that it explains why I cannot think about other things, I look so much on the change (kids returning back from ozzy-ground) that there is a bigger identification to the perceiving senses and intelligence than to the firm inner seer :-)
I always find that yoga have a purifying effect, the tea after an yoga-class tastes more, the sounds gets more distinct and colours intensifies. I have the same experience with being connected or with meditation. It takes me to a state where my senses are more tuned… I lack words for that experience, but you’ve all probably tried it.
I’m inspired to go either to search for the steady, firm observer and the changing perceiver in my classes or to go for the purifying effect. Maybe I do both haha
Can there be something unchanging in a dynamic serie of asanas… can change be experienced in a static asana? I already know something still in the midst of changes in life, and I know changes in my opinions, attitudes, experience of a static situation.
Love Jenni

What a week!

Ambitions surely have been faced. My oldest daughter has had two birthday parties, one for her school class and one for family. In my head this events gets the time that the guests are here. That’s soo not the reality, they take loads of time.
I don’t like to be the only responsible one – but I am.
I don’t like to set aside my studies – but I have to.
I don’t like prioritizing – but I get to.
Obviously this is the blessing of the week.
I get to look at my priorities, and act on them.
I get to let go of the idea of “doing everything”.
I get to be the responsible person that I sometime can be. I grow with this.
My daughter loved her birthday. It’s all good!

Today is yogaday, I am following up on last weeks viniyoga treat, and reintroducing ashtanga yoga’s sun salutation A. I think a lot of the movement’s that shows up in my programs right now is about energizing the body. I still talk a lot about “attach not, resist not and judge not”. But today the focus landed on “resist not” in form of; not fighting anyone or anything. An example from my own life is; when my older daughter criticise all the words of her kid sister – I do not fight it, I do not criticise her for doing that. Slowly the recognition grows in me, that I love to be (and I am) the person that don’t criticise. That’s what makes me happy. And after some time I can tell this to my kid, instead of telling her that what she do is wrong. Well that’s one way that yoga comes into my life, and I’m soo grateful.
Namasté Jenni

Sunlight and jumping kids

Yes, that’s my day. I woke up with an inner judgemental voice, but it faded when my kids jumped into my bed and we cuddled while the sun coloured the sky red.
Sometimes during the day this cousin of my judgemental voice came, I call her ambitiousa, she is the one that wants me to do everything ,,, NOW! Lucky me! I’ve got kids, so I really don’t have time to listen to theese voices, I’m so grateful. Now they are jumping at the spring board and sun fills up my whole kitchen and it’s just perfect for me to cook dinner:)

Sick kids

When people that I love are unhappy, unsatisfied I get eczema inside. I fear to be home with nothing happening, because I feel terrible when they are in discomfort.
Thank universe, for letting me be home when one had a holyday from school and the other were sick and a grandma that wont come as planed, since little one is sick.
Now I know, that there is nothing to fear. I could never have imagined what a relief this odd situation would be. I fear I will be “mom from hell”, that is irritated and can’t be present and calm. How little belief I have in myself! And how good I am!!! :)
Making orange juice became an event, helping out was fun and so many songs and paintings were created! I’m blessed with beautiful kids that can play and do things by them selves. I’m so grateful for how serene this weekend became.

start

The start of a new semester can first happen when I’ve let go of the last. I went north, got some snow and skiing done, fixed my acute need to get out of this big city and my even more urgent need to be embraced by a completely snow covered world. It was great, even though my youngest threw up and coughed every night, so we were tired, it was still great! Even for her! She tells proudly, to every one, that she threw up at grandmas :)
Now a tension of some excitement rises in my lower back, it’s my inner “Peter pedal” I think he’s called “curious George” in English. I know this is a sign of readiness to the next semester; bring it on!!!
hmm probably have to rename this blog, it’s not centred around yoga (even though I think so;) it’s all jenni.

My young zen master

This morning, walking my six years old to school:
-“Mom, you wanna hear a joke?”
-“yes”
-“Do you know why the trees look so old?”
-“no”
-“It’s because the children are so young.”