breathing spirit

On sutra 4.3
"Nature's efficient cause does not impel its potentialities into action, but helps to remove the obstacles to evolution, just as a farmer builds banks to irrigate his fields." (Iyengar translation 4.3)
Iyengar writes: "Through yogic discipline, the yogi removes all obstacle to her evolution, and enjoys emancipation"

Prayer, as means to remove obstacles - or with connecting to "Natures cause" or "intelligence" through prayer. I use this in my daily practice, by not trying to force through an idea. Instead (this month) I've started to experiment with using my breath to adjust my body. To me this is a way to let nature have it's way and remove whatever obstacles shows up. I experience it most clearly when I work this in balance-poses. Ardha chandrasana, my old way of adjusting just created the motion of a pendulum. Just breathing towards an idea, feels ... slow, sane and caring. But sometime it feels too slow :-)
Breathing to me, is both prayer (exhalation) and meditation (inhalation). In latin "breath" is called "spiritus" and "spirit" is called "spiritus" - I think they were on to something, we have it in scandinavian languages as well - breath is "ånde (andas)" and spirit is "ånd (ande)". I experience this to be an authentic connection reflected in our languages.

Desikachar translation; How can such changes of mind be achieved? "But, such intelligence can only remove obstacles that obstruct certain changes. Its role is no more than that of a farmer who cuts a dam to allow water to flow into the field where it is needed" (D 4.3)
He describes it to be about knowing "what to do", in addition to having "good soil.." from the beginning. We must know the process and how to support it..

To me, the yoga-inventory, working the yamas and niyamas on a daily basis - in addition to the daily asana practice, brings me knowledge of my personal soil :-)
I get to be the farmer of the jenni-soil, it is most clear to me in these two mentioned practices (inventory and asana practice) But a set of guidelines grew out of these practices and they steers me towards something that I only can call ... more true/more appropriate or more authentic.
An example is; writing inventory about getting angry at people that don't come on time, then writing inventory on being angry at me for just waiting and putting everything else on hold, when they don't show up. Looking at these inventories again and again, and at the same time listening to a guide I have: I suddenly heard! I'm here ten minutes before and ten minutes after, if they haven't come ten minutes after and no messages !! I move on!! I have tested this guideline for the last 4 years! and this guideline sets me free from the obstacle of being disturbed (angry). Every time. Sometimes the other person gets upset, by me just not waiting - (that's their inventory :-)

Right now it inspires me, as a teacher, to do a bit more pranayama this week and work with the principle of vairagya (surrender), to let nature take care of the obstacles, instead of fighting them in the poses :-)
Namasté
jenni

Magic!

Iyengars translation and comment on sutra 3.9 is one of the most important texts I've ever read.
If I could I would just quote the whole text to you :-) I give this a go instead.

To me it's all about getting free.
We are born into a human condition and it is a gift, a changing, challenging gift. Somthing in us know a stillness, a tranquility and moves us towards this, seeking to get free from the attachment from sensory stories of "need, want, don't want". Iyengar writes that the central thread in Patanjalis sutras is the relation between the divine Self (purusa) and nature (prakriti).

I hear that transformation happens in the pause.
For example it is not in the inhalation that the magic transformation to exhalation happens, it happens in the moment, the pause, the intermission in between breathing in and out.
It is not in the sensation of an experience or our reaction to the experience change takes place, the magic of impact or change in us, happens in the stillness between them. Between two situations, between a rising thought and relating to (restraining) the thought :-) He takes it further! the transformation takes place between the seer and the seeker. I am given inclusion of the one who search for (reality/god/connection/grace) and the one who live (reality/god/connection/grace).

I read my assignment:
"Jenni, the precious psychological moments of intermission where there is stillness and silence, are to be prolonged into extra-chronological moments of consciousness, without beginning or end"
Thank you I've got it!! Or as another guide put it to me; ever expanding our limits by softly dissolving them from the inside (or this is as close to the original I can remember..)

I've always enjoyed the moments between in- and ex- halation and the opposite (don't care if this is the right way to write this ;)
It's like there is a treasure in this moment, and here Iyengar passes down to me the name of the treasure - transformation or what I, as a kid called: Magic! Miracle!
I will post a minifilm of drops just before the float - this is a picture to me of magic moments... But I have to wait for my internet to work at home again...

As a teacher, these moments are the moments between asanas, moments in and out of asanas, moments of complying to conditions in asana. It is the moment of magic between analyses and action. As a teacher I'm just as much on the path when I encourage the student to go for it, to seek more, as I am when I encourage to experience wholeness and perfection like this.

Now, there are so many beautifully put words in this sutra, that I only can encourage you to read Iyengars light on the sutras (especially 3.9 and 3.10) your self.
Moving on to sutra 3.10 Iyengar translation; "The restraint of rising impressions brings about an undisturbed flow of tranquility."

I recognize my guideline this time followed by a promise:
"By maintaining perfect awareness in the intervals between rising and restraining impressions, steadiness becomes effortless and natural. Then the stream of tranquility flows without any ripples in the consciousness"
This is also where I see him presenting the use of vairagya and abhyasa as possible adaptations to stay calm and focused. This is part of what I have been passing on for four years now, so I'm glad to get it validated!
We move towards "- that the seeker and the sought are one; that the seeker is the seer."

so expand go try do lets see
still happy on the chair :-)
namaste
Jenni

the very source of perception, 1.45

Desikachar: “Except that the mind cannot comprehend the very source of perception within us, its objects can be unlimited.” 1.45

For me in simple body-jenni-language this means the eye can look around but it cannot see itself, the ear can listen to the sounds in the city, the room, even the stomach and the heart but it doesn't hear the tympanic membrane (yeye funny word). So I can know something about my position, but only in relation to something else?... That’s why it’s so lovely with any form of contact, to know myself and truth through participation (=relation)… positioning me to something else.

The effect in my practice is a love for working with a group that offers so many possibilities to interact. Partner-yoga-positions, perhaps, or meditating on the “being part of”, hmm yes I like that.
Ideals (abhyasa, which makes me strive… like the grass is greener over there) and prejudice (judging jenni – resting on my laurels… they (over there)really cannot do the lawn in the right way ;-)) can seem soo dangerous and hurting, but right now, they just seem like expressions of relation in the more limited human way ;9 participating… The whole “cannot comprehend” brings me back to: “it’s not why, why, why… it just is”. But it would also be nice to try to work with “the very source of perception”, experiencing that it exists, more than trying to understand and looking at it…
Ups, it just turned into a big project, let’s see
Peace and love

freeing power of yoga, the search for being at ease, flow in the breathing

1.31
So, last week I celebrated, with my students 30 weeks anniversary with the sutras – wow! these weeks just floated by in a wild tempo….
Bouanchaud writes that many people come to yoga to free themselves from suffering. This sentence becomes, for me, some days yoga is freeing me from suffering, body and mind, yoga get to symbolize conscious contact with a greater perspective and an opportunity to practice “let go” and surrender.
This sutra tells me, that the symptoms that tell me, there is an inner obstacle, are (again I put Desikachar/Bouanchaud, since I get rich by using both their translations):
- mental discomfort/suffering
- negative thinking/depression
- inability to be at ease in different body postures/physical restlessness
- difficulty in controlling ones breath/disturbed breathing, mental dispersion
Desikachar makes it clear to me that now I have the obstacles and the symptoms, we are moving towards the answer yoga has to offer to me.
Personally I relate and recognize to them all, right now it’s dispersion, having so many fantastic projects in my life, that I sometimes... well my awareness is spread out. Choosing yoga, prayer and meditation first makes everything else into a loving proportion, and helps me focus.
To my teaching, this tells me, that the student that shows these symptoms may gain even more by his or hers yoga. Since awareness can set us free. I don’t see me as a therapist in any way however. I think yoga can support healing for them, but outside help is a fine contribution. I’m kind of “pro hospital -for the broken legs-teacher"! :-)
I’m inspired to do classes about the detaching, freeing power of yoga and about breath – the search for being at ease in all postures. Soo a little swing, and a little roll and rotate might support the freeing powers, and focusing on gravity might support the letting go – detachment, vairagya. And always getting into the sense of flow in the breathing, to get to experience “being at ease – sukha”
Read Dharmayoga on sutra 1.31 here!
and christine...
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

Persevering practice, daily work sutra 13

Sutra 13 explores the same theme, and that’s good for me. I’m told that: “Persevering practice is the effort to attain and maintain the state of mental peace”. This message has arrived from so many different sources in my life so I’m open to try whatever is suggested! Bouanchaud tells me that it’s about setting a course in a direction, what brings me out of course can be my own inner personal leanings or outside circumstances. My only direction is, when out of course - get back! And I will get out of course, it’s ok. Today I know I’m out of course when it hurts, pain is a good indicator, or when I’m identifying with being only my mind, my thoughts or my feelings. For example, when I identify with being the “great giver” or “receiver” instead of just being… in a flow, eventually it hurts. Persevering practice can be boosting my ego or killing it. Different kind of pains follows. When it’s boosting my ego, it eventually always hurts, since the boost is “look at me-and my accomplishments”, it hurts when “they” don’t get it, or it hurts when I cannot do it. The ego kill hurts in another way, I can’t take credit for persevering practice -I’m not the one doing it, I can’t be sure that this is the right way, the only way; I’m just showing up, every single day- in spite of this. In no way can the practice be used as a tool to get credit, since it is a gift and without it I loose my serenity. I haven’t explored this with words, so I get to feel my shortcomings here…
In class I worked with the to principles of abhyasa and vairagya, to keep on trying to improve and to let go. It’s giving to me.
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

preserverence or letting go... sutra 1.12

Oh man! This is too much… too big... This is what I’ve actively, on a daily basis, have explored the last 4 years. Sutra 1.12 tells me that “The mind can reach the state of yoga through practice and detachment.” And the two principles of abhyasa (practise, preserverence ) and vairagya (detachment, letting go) is introduced. I get to look at myself in many ways, but two stands out, today, I’m asked what is easier for me, to let go – let everything be, to a natural unfolding or to engage in a practice that demands discipline from me.
I really have them both, and often in a beautiful balancing harmony, but there is a tendency to “love the ritual” and “strive for perfection” or overdoing things for me… It’s interesting to see how the last 4 years have enriched my life by this awareness of these two principles.
Can I detach from the path I choose? I love this question, for it hits me right at a soft spot. When my tendency is to get over- :-) excited, ambitious or responsible, a side effect is that I can get narrow-minded – not see the greatness in pluralism (loving all the other paths), or not feeling good when I cannot or don’t get to, do things according to the path I’m following.
And this is not only spiritual blabla, it’s the same when it is about “how to raise a child”, “how to move in traffic” or “how to show love” and off course it’s about “how to practice yoga” :-)
So we will work with these two principles. I could go on writing about this, but now I will take a shower instead.
Namasté and serenity to all of you.
Jenni Saunte

I’m soo tired!

My whole back is like a lodge, just ,,, still.
This week classes have evolved around “Na ma ha” (to honour). So I guess I honour my human condition “tired” right now, by loving the feeling and not trying to force it away. Today I met with my colleagues, and I always get so much inspiration out of that, I get in contact with something inspiring inside me. We talked about how some movements we just do, and other we just dictate. For me one of the Tibetan sun salutations is a “do’er” while most other sun salutations I show once – at the most and than just dictate. Sunday’s class were filled up with yogis that have taken classes for a long time, so concentration was dense! We did four different headstands, I just love the effect of the headstands. Now, my tired but and I will drag us down into a car, and let my dear friend drive me around, while we listen to,, probably Van Morrison or some lovely music.
Music has meant a lot this week, I finally found energy again in music, it came to me in “And it stoned me”, it was like I was a fighting little puppy, and the music just rolled me over and suddenly my belly was up, I had surrendered and the fight was over. Nice.
Namasté jenni

Classes

This week, my classes have been more “pedagogically correct”. I mean, I’ve looked at what we’ve been doing and followed up on some asanas and adding whats missing. But there was a theme of different kinds of sun salutations, another was hips and flexibility. But my favourite was yesterday, I let my colleague decide what my theme was going to be, she told me to work with feminine and masculine attitudes towards the asanas.
I found that I connect the masculine with the principle of abhyasa and the feminine with the principles of vairagya. More on, I found that I somehow connects the masculine with the inhalation (the active force) and the feminine with the exhalation (the passive force). I haven’t got a clue about this. I haven’t used the thoughts of masculine and feminine since I studied “bodymind” with my masters. I have to search books, friends and colleagues to see how they do it, what do you think?
I can clearly see how much integrity and attitude work there’s going on in my classes! It’s beautiful! The hunched old lady that is so much into her breath that she finishes her asana far behind all the others, but everyone loves to get to do stuff in their own time, following their own breath, it was beautiful! So much accept of the self and the other “selves” in the same room. It was a good to see how aware we all became of our own attitudes and what effect they have on us. How our attitude forms the reality that we sense. I think there is more for me to get there!

Classes and my studies

MY WORLD what a difference it makes to get some sleep! I wrote a mail before I slept for 4 hours this afternoon, than I just read it again. My perspective is completely different. And this is my experience, that keeps coming back; sleep, food, connecting to people around me and hanging on to where the serenity is - turns me into a completely different positive person! Before my sleep I used a bit of power on figuring out how to get an essay written, teach classes and get to go to an interesting meeting tomorrow. After sleeping, I remember that my classes were cancelled this weekend due to an event – so there is really nothing to think about. So,,, my essay will be about blogging and learning. And my classes coming up, will be about surrender, or exploring yoga with the principle of “vairagya”.

serenity

Noise is my friend
Kids everywhere, jumping, crawling, screaming and vividly discussing their steeple chase course in the living room. My youngest is sick, so we can’t get out to the good stuff. I had to overcome myself because; this was not Jennis plan :) And I prefer my plan,,, but I have let go and actually enjoys the noise, realizing that serenity is in my acceptance of my day and moment not in the silence or in my plans and control.
I’m so glad that I can write here, feel a connection to you, and not feel locked inside.

Letting go

Yesterday a big online community I’ve been a part of closed down. So I’ve been sad.
I’m so grateful that it's been in my life, these two years that I started to study again. Since I’m a single mom and don’t have time to socialize before and after classes, I have enjoyed the opportunity at night, online. Now I have a network at the institute of fellow students, that I keep up with. So it’s ok that it closes, but still a loss. When I was younger it was a threat to feel sadness, I always feared that it never would go away. I’ve experienced that feelings goes by, if I don’t resist them, if I allow them to exist. God! How many times have I not fought- not to get sad or angry?! Now it’s a part of my “daily” yoga-practice, to find out what’s inside, before I start working.
Today the sadness is gone and there is gratitude and I’m in the present again, letting go of this beautiful supporting community.

Gratitude

Today I felt crappy, and my kids did act out, just like I felt inside,,, so I got irritated on them,, buggery, buggero
I’ve been thinking about how to start this blog. I was inspired to write, since I’ve enjoyed some other bloggers writing about their journey of recovery, or spiritual search.
I delayed the start, since I didn’t want to start out with frustration :)
But I gave up, so here we go,,, and as I opened my writing space I felt gratitude!!! Well, what do you know! I’m so thankful for my work, my kids and my studies. For having this computer and the web, so that I’m never actually alone,, I have to face that loneliness is an illusion.
The hard part these days is to wait, to do nothing, pure ahimsa. I observe the insanity rush around and I try to do nothing. Good on me! That’s new!!
For example, I want to do several new years’ resolutions, bad old habit, (for me). I just love to plan the splendid changes rather than give some space for universe to start doing them, little by little in my present day :) So now I sit on my fingers (Nordic expression ;) and try not to fix myself! I'm surrendering, vairagya!!