steadiness and I'm soo free!!!

Before I write about my “sutra-work” I want to state that cleaning up the past, making amends, is a major freedom-maker!!! Yes what a relief! Big kick today.
I get to look at what a long time daily practice does for me with sutra 14, it says that; “(the state of yoga-serenity, peace) can be reached by longtime correct practice, without interruptions, with a positive attitude and eagerness.”
I ask myself is this my experience, yes it is :-)
I get to discover how a longtime daily practice has built an inner perspective that puts everything else in right proportions. I don’t feel like I’m the one doing it though… I’ve tried so many times to get a stable daily meditation/yoga practice, and always failed. This time (now for 4 years) I’ve stopped looking up, thinking that I’m the one doing this, I’m just the one showing up on the mat. I don’t think to much about how long this will continue, I just look at today. One of my teachers tells me, that just like the body cannot live from food it eat last week or could eat tomorrow, the spirit (or consciousness if you want) cannot live of practice done yesterday or tomorrow…
I like that; it’s so tangible that I get it.

I work with “sthira” the principle of steadiness, awareness and perseverance in every asana, exploring this concepts in micro-form, the asana to get to know more about the macro-form; life…me… the world, lets be ambitious!!! :-)
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

Persevering practice, daily work sutra 13

Sutra 13 explores the same theme, and that’s good for me. I’m told that: “Persevering practice is the effort to attain and maintain the state of mental peace”. This message has arrived from so many different sources in my life so I’m open to try whatever is suggested! Bouanchaud tells me that it’s about setting a course in a direction, what brings me out of course can be my own inner personal leanings or outside circumstances. My only direction is, when out of course - get back! And I will get out of course, it’s ok. Today I know I’m out of course when it hurts, pain is a good indicator, or when I’m identifying with being only my mind, my thoughts or my feelings. For example, when I identify with being the “great giver” or “receiver” instead of just being… in a flow, eventually it hurts. Persevering practice can be boosting my ego or killing it. Different kind of pains follows. When it’s boosting my ego, it eventually always hurts, since the boost is “look at me-and my accomplishments”, it hurts when “they” don’t get it, or it hurts when I cannot do it. The ego kill hurts in another way, I can’t take credit for persevering practice -I’m not the one doing it, I can’t be sure that this is the right way, the only way; I’m just showing up, every single day- in spite of this. In no way can the practice be used as a tool to get credit, since it is a gift and without it I loose my serenity. I haven’t explored this with words, so I get to feel my shortcomings here…
In class I worked with the to principles of abhyasa and vairagya, to keep on trying to improve and to let go. It’s giving to me.
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

preserverence or letting go... sutra 1.12

Oh man! This is too much… too big... This is what I’ve actively, on a daily basis, have explored the last 4 years. Sutra 1.12 tells me that “The mind can reach the state of yoga through practice and detachment.” And the two principles of abhyasa (practise, preserverence ) and vairagya (detachment, letting go) is introduced. I get to look at myself in many ways, but two stands out, today, I’m asked what is easier for me, to let go – let everything be, to a natural unfolding or to engage in a practice that demands discipline from me.
I really have them both, and often in a beautiful balancing harmony, but there is a tendency to “love the ritual” and “strive for perfection” or overdoing things for me… It’s interesting to see how the last 4 years have enriched my life by this awareness of these two principles.
Can I detach from the path I choose? I love this question, for it hits me right at a soft spot. When my tendency is to get over- :-) excited, ambitious or responsible, a side effect is that I can get narrow-minded – not see the greatness in pluralism (loving all the other paths), or not feeling good when I cannot or don’t get to, do things according to the path I’m following.
And this is not only spiritual blabla, it’s the same when it is about “how to raise a child”, “how to move in traffic” or “how to show love” and off course it’s about “how to practice yoga” :-)
So we will work with these two principles. I could go on writing about this, but now I will take a shower instead.
Namasté and serenity to all of you.
Jenni Saunte