Friday, August 28, 2009

balancing sukha and duhka :-)

This week I’m connecting the following two sutras, that guide me into balance, by detachment from the two polarities “sukha” (pleasure, happiness, delight) and “dukha” (unpleasantness, sorrow, agony).
Attachment to the pleasurable is an attachment to an idea of how it will be in the future- based on past experience (it was nice the last time) and attachment to the unpleasant is also an attachment to the past experience, where I try to avoid for it to happen again.
Well-got it- attachment bad – freedom good :)

A couple of years ago I stopped eating sugar and chips, mainly because I thought I was kind of addicted to it, I thought it affected my mood negatively and I thought it made me fat and lazy… I stopped for over a year maybe two… Nothing happened; with the addictiveness, the mood and the health…
But – I got to know what gift of freedom comes out of giving up on a pleasure I had (sugar). Everyday there was a small sacrifice in not eating it (even though I didn’t think too much about it after a while, only when somebody invited me…) and I felt a bit more free. I also felt perseverance take form in my everyday, which was nice.

I also have an experience with letting go of pain-avoidance. It’s in my nature to try to figure out how to avoid ending up in the same bad situation again. It was suggested to me, to trust that every single situation is different and that I will be another person if challenges arise – it can’t happen again – now is all we have. Instead of trying to take care of the future by making rules (my life was full of rules) just be today in this and trust that future is taken care of. For example there was a person that I had arguments with, I tried to avoid these arguments, but all I got out of it, was an experience that “we always argue” and “I can’t take care of me”. When I stopped trying to avoid these arguments I found that I didn’t feel we fight that much, the arguments had become incidents, and I found that I could trust my instinct and I was safe and protected, I didn’t have to protect me.

In my yoga practice this is my rotation of asanas that I love, so that they don’t get stagnant and habitual. And it is my minimum one (often three) asanas that I want to avoid in my daily practice. Think I’ve addressed that earlier…

So in teaching this week I want to share about the balance between this things and I want to build programs that contains it all (yes all! Include all!) And in the asana encourage to search for the freedom from attachment!
Love and Namasté

Desikachar translation
Excessive attachment is based on the assumption that it will contribute to everlasting happiness.
Unreasonable dislikes are usually the result of painful experiences in the past, connected with particular objects and situations.

Friday, August 21, 2009

toward stability, consistency to question the attitude

Sutra 2.5
“False identity results when we regard mental activity as the very source of perception.” (Desikachar transl.)
Immediately I don’t get this. And checking up – what the five mental activities were in sutra 1.6 doesn’t help me, neither checking up Iyengars translation.

Iyengar translation tells me; if I identify with my senses, I get to know egoism a bit better.
Desikachar states that mental attitudes change. These two things I can relate to.
Before I had a daily practice (of anything) I surly identified more with my attitude or my feelings – I simply took it/them very seriously.
If I didn’t feel like doing something, well than something was wrong and an action had to express this feeling; to drop the commitment (haha change the boyfriend or change boyfriend) to my daily practice. But staying on the mat no matter what shows me this “feeling” is not me, it’s changing. I still sometimes has this idea that thoughts and feelings are eternal (oh I’m going to be sad/sick/happy/attracted forever… and ever) and I still get to know change, transformation and the fugitive.

This sutra inspires me to roll out my mat and put my feet on it, and see what happens. It inspires me to take a closer look at my motives and my attitudes, it guides me right back into self examination :-)
And to my programmes and teaching it guides me toward stability, consistency to question the attitude behind my approach. Maybe I just bring the book and read it out load and see if someone can tell me what it’s about.

Love, peace and clean house :)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Iyengar sutras and gayatri mantra

Little salute
I just received “Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali” by B.K.S. Iyengar – I’m thrilled, I like it. I know my collections of translations of Patanjali sutras is about to be… fun, but it feels like a good and important one – this one. I will journey with it for some time, (usually the inner suggestion is to try for at least 90 days, before taking a stand) – but there was a beautiful gift in this book – a foreword by Godfri Devereaux, whom I’ve had an inspiring, deep and poetic practice with (pranayama and bandhas) – that was just an extra unexpected gift that already made me happy.
I’ve decided to share the gayatri mantra introduced to me this summer. It feels in a new way, being born into singing (even though that word is not the right one for me) again and this time, through heart. So I will stick to that for some time now. I found this page about the gayatri mantra <3 <3 I find it amazing how many different melodies that are used, I relate and recognize best the sai baba version... just scroll down and you will find them - enjoy!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

include whatever

Sutra 2.5
I think I messed up the chronology of my sutras a bit, since I’ve had four of them with me this summer, but now I’m on it again.
“Misapprehension leads to errors in comprehension of the character, origin and effects of the objects perceived” (Desikachar translation).

(His examples: what at one time may appear as beneficial may turn out to be a problem at a later stage. Fool's gold is assumed to be gold. Things that change (beauty of youth) may be considered everlasting. The most important learning may, in time, prove useless)

In asana – this sutra teaches me to keep an open mind – the prayer to be set free of everything I think I know – is good for yoga-practice, because (as one of my guides told me) it’s not the things you don’t know that will kill you – it’s what you know for sure… maybe the asana isn’t about living and dying in the “American movie sense”. But my experience is that my “knowing something for sure” like “I can’t do that” kills something, maybe the power in possibilities? Maybe the energy, maybe the movement and change… Opposite I recognize that what I don’t know can take me to a place where I get to experience the unexpected, the surprising, I love surprises… (now my mind goes philosophical,, and things like “oh the asana is like life it self – a micro cosmos :-) so I move on…)

As a teacher I get to respect and see the empowerment that happen when the student follow their own tempo, breathing, and I get to see change in attitudes, bodies and minds. Respecting what I pass on can always get better, deeper, more open is humbling in the best sense of the word and when I’m there- the teaching act becomes more whole, integrated and honest.

For this week, I’m moved to work with; letting go of expectations and see what happens. To include whatever (any, all) as a starting point to travel deeper into the asana. To bring the book and read his examples.
But let’s see, right now I feel like a phoney. And I better get some sleep.

Love jenni

Friday, August 07, 2009


inspired by some yoga elfs I've now bought the Iyenga view on the sutras "light on the sutras" or whats it's called and Pablo Casals playing Bachs cello suits came along...
I like that I don't have to pay anything for delivery on that's a nice thing love jenni

the search for what’s already there-inherent clear perception

This is about sutra 2.2 (but my classes this week was about 2.4 vaccation mess)
“Then such practices (good yoga) will be certain to remove the obstacles to clear perception.” I love that it states “remove the obstacles” and not “solve the problems”. This is my experience, what works is often the removing by something bigger than me – yoga practice – and the solving (often initiated by me), is just not necessary any longer. Sometime it’s an inside job. Like when I asked my teacher what I should do to get into a pose, and was replied “why do I need to get in to that pose?” suddenly something changed in me, and the story of “need to get into the pose” died and the obstacle (probably my ego) was removed and I have done the pose several times without problems, the first many without even remembering that It used to be “a problem” and the conversation with my teacher :-)

I also love that here “clear perception” is inherent, It’s already here and now, obstacle just have to be removed to see it.

This evening is an evening after a long day. I have my girls at home and we have attended a family function, a long and moving day. It is so nice to just sit on the mat and listen to the birds outside and feel that all the impressions are layering down.. Instead of taking a cup of coffee I’ve done viparita karani and shavasana with chest elevated. It works it really does!

For classes – I bring the message (it’s inherent :-) and I focus on the search for what’s already there – I like that plan… Now the birds sleep but the city is still summing and vibrating - nice
Love and peace

Monday, August 03, 2009

not to focus on the wobble :-)

I’m back. In Denmark – but the “I” is questionable if it returned, it surely turned… but maybe to a new direction :-)
My sutras went with me on a fierce, intense yoga travel- it was great!! I was more challenged than ever and ego had a hard time (didn’t find much to build pride upon, haha).

I thought the time in Italy, was only going to be about sutra 2.2 and 2.3 but last post became important. The teacher Glenn Ceresoli said the first day, that if I get confused about what I’m doing just turn back to essence – self-examination was one of the things he declared as essence of yoga- soo… since I had brought the first sutra too, I’ve spent some extra time with this one as well :-) (see last post)

2.2 Desikachar: “Then such practices will be certain to remove the obstacles to clear perception.”
This intensifies and confirms my effort to seek clarity – collect the experiences of which asana take me there (today) – I find that this clear state, can be found anywhere and nowhere. I lack words here.
I find clarity within; sometimes the asana can be the spark that connects me to this clear source. In Italy I had this clear experience, my body felt pure in some of the asanas, like after a long hot shower, or after a good nights sleep – but it was for example the trikonasanas that gave me the sensation…

2.3 “-“- “The obstacles are misapprehension, false identity, excessive attachments, unreasonable dislikes and insecurity.”
“Misapprehension” reminds me of what my guide have told me; “it’s not about finding the truth, it’s about getting rid of the untrue”. It makes me happy, when it all comes together. One of the “false identity” I wrestle with is, believing that I am my feelings, or believing that I am my thoughts.
Or all I am is one special thought or feeling… This often comes with the idea that the thought or feeling (identified with) is very important…

When the sutra says “excessive” attachments – I recognize one of my yoga-teachers words of comforts to me, about my attachment to providing for my children – he told me that some attachments were just part of being human. Sutra 2.1 tells me I’m not the master of everything I do. I think this might apply fine here – I don’t think I have to figure out when I’m too attached, or when the attachment is driving me. I can trust reality to show me in a very clear way when I get driven. This sutra is also one of these transformation sutras, that list what we are moving towards.

Here are some obstacles that my yoga journey re-moved (provoked a change in): “being a teacher” – I got to feel like a beginner, first I hated it, to feel incompetent, but than I fell in love with it again, to have soo much to learn!
“I can take time off, I can do holiday” well I find that I don’t operate to well with that idea, everyday-holiday soo I just call every now a holy now, and what we call it in society I consider a game, a play. I CANNOT do it, not even take time off. I get to experience it, it’s the best and the worst at once. This probably doesn’t make much sense, unless you’re a bit like me :-)
I got to look some of my dislikes in the eye, When I just did it, it was sometimes ok, like performing again, (no matter how short and little), it was ok. Or finding, that my most hated asana (oh yes I have one, sukhasana, maybe different in different yoga directions, but the one with the heel under the knee, and to hurt ego a little more it translates into “easy pose” haha), was going to be part of daily asana practice and I was going to be pushed deeper and deeper into it… it was provoking, destroying, vitalising and motivating. The experience of how insecurity left as I became “part of” was a loving beautiful including experience. Insecurity is like having no balance in a balance pose, very little possibility to feel clarity because you wobble, and tend to focus on the wobble – well there isn’t a balance to focus on yet… This focus-thief is insecurity for me in every area that it appears in, suddenly I’m all focused on the wobble (fun word) the insecurity.
Love and Namasté