A yogi's action are neither white nor black

"A yogi's action are neither white nor black. The actions of others are of three kinds, white, black and grey." (Iyengar translation of sutra 4.7)
Iyengar points out that "The unmixed action of the yogi are beyond sattva, rajas and tamas. They produce no positive or negative reactions in the consciousness and hence are free from duality". I get to be the one to see how duality expresses it self in yoga sometimes, and I'm Not attracted to it (this and this teacher say so and so,,, and this and that is right and wrong). It is really uncomfortable to sit in - so I move along. And feel release. I guess this is being safe and sound and not be part of the duality game (this time).

Desikachar points out that the "state of yoga" can lead us to "the highest state of clarity and detachment [we] can be beyond motivation" . I remember the first time I heard the stories of Mahabharata (11 years old) the meeting between Arjuna (my personal hero) and Krishna, made a lifelong impression on me. This is where Krishna tells Arjuna to be a warrior and go into battle, not to win, not to loose, not because of right or wrong, but just because this is what he is, and I think the word duty was used :-) and I could just return to this moment again and again. Today it connects to the thinking of "what's true will last" to me it's an encouragement to be what I am (it's a really smart shortcut to reality).


First thing I think, when I read the sutra is; this is an instrument to measure "what is and what is not"- yogic. If my action is neutral and undisturbed, it's probably part of living the yoga-state.
So in my asana work; if I'm undisturbed (this doesn't necessarily mean not shaking or not sweating), and not in judgment of my asana, just being and experiencing, well then it IS yoga. If I'm in judgment (comparing me to the others, or showing off or being ashamed) -then the yoga-state IS NOT.
hihi
My master just thought me that it's not about good or bad, or right or wrong, it just IS or it just IS NOT :-) so I'm complying to this suggestion.

My experience can only confirm this sutra is. And just as I wrote last week, I still long for more neutrality. Neutrality feels like heaven.

In my personal practice neutrality is often a part. I almost always feel more neutral and free when alone with asana than in a group setting. With my master the neutral yoga-state almost always is a part. When neutrality-blessing is there, I usually don't even think about it. I show up in my warm, tight woolen underwear, that really don't suit me :-) but it's easy, I live spiritual consent with my master to adjust whatever I do on my mat, so he better be able to see what's going on, and I need something warm, so... wool :-)
Last time I really could feel I lost the "state" was in Stavanger, where I just got so tired of being weak. All my expression, work and mind got unstable, by judging me as weak. It's non of my business and I get free by remaining neutral.

In the beginning (some ten years ago) I was very picky on who did what and how, but today this neutrality is more extended, sometimes things happens (body-adjustments), change appears over time, instead of trying to pull every little bit out this one class, I can see is this an expression for how this student shape is today or is it a part of a development, a change. It also works much better for me to welcome people that are late than to yell or ban them - I know most yoga-teachers do the opposite, it just is Not efficient in my experience.
In my personal practice my effort is neither black nor white but I get to be stable, by showing up on a daily basis, I get to have a daily practice by showing up every day. I get to be loving by loving my practice unfolding. I get to be amending and caring, by showing up in my practice. So, sure all three gunas are there at times, off course I'm sometime overly excited, sometime lazy (often) and sometime balanced and harmonious - but just by showing up - I'm blessed and grateful.

Namasté
Jenni

my inner friend :)

Sutra 3.24 (3.23 Desikachars counting)
“Different qualities such as friendliness, compassion and contentment can be enquired into through samyama, Thus, one can learn how to strengthen a chosen quality” (Desikachar translation) In the same way as a mental or physical skill can be obtained.

“[The sadhaka] gains moral and emotional strength by performing friendliness and other virtues towards one and all.” (Iyengar translation)
Iyengar writes that the practice of friendliness, compassion and benevolence keeps the consciousness free from desire, anger, greed, lust, pride and envy. This disposition of the mind creates a graceful disposition of the heart.

How do I relate to this?
I relate this sutra to my daily inventory-practice, where I ask my self how the yamas and niyamas have been unfolded in my day.
In my yoga posture practice, I relate this sutra to how, asana to me, symbolizes all action in every day, and how I get to develope patience, loving kindness or acceptance in my relation to the asana and my human limitedness or amazement today :-)

What is my experience?
The sutra reminds me of starting to do the inventory many years ago gave me insight into being innocent. This last year with the yamas and niyamas, the inventory given me knowledge of where I'm consciously aware of for example "being moderate" or "being considerate". These inventories and moments of meditation on my actions also have the effect that I sometime during my day consciously get in touch with the idea - "ok, I'm listening and not talking here - this is me practicing "being moderate" today"...

This inspires me to go for working with the attitude of being friendly and with my inner friend. Both in my personal practice but also as a teacher..
My mind works with compassion to me - giving me a voice that says "Oh, honey" in a loving motherly way, really nice and comforting and I get to feel accepted.
"Do not listen to friends when the inner friend says: Do this!” (Gandhi)
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

from scattered to whole

Sutra 3.11 “ The weakening of scattered attention and the rise of one-pointed attention in the citta (consciousness) is the transformation towards Samadhi” (Iyengar translation)
How do I relate to this?
I am more aware and present when my mind and my action and my body is at one place. There is a peace and a sensation of being whole in this.
What is my experience?
When attention is scattered I feel like eczema, a rash, I get more irritated and impatient and unsatisfied. In moments of one-pointed attention, a comfort comes along, because a discomfort would in essence be a scatter of attention.
How can this inspire my personal daily practice?
Well my daily practice often is the “thing” that gathers this loony mind of mine.
How can this inspire my teaching?
When students seem to wonder I can… challenge them so that they cannot ignore the present ;-) or I can keep my own focus – it usually rubs off. I can stop giving so many different instructions and try go for the simple..
Namasté
Jenni

Do we dare to say we have had an experience of samadhi?

Sutra 3.3 “[When]… the individual is so involved in the object [of meditation], that nothing except its comprehension is evident. It is as if the individual has lost her own identity. This is complete integration with the object of understanding – Samadhi.” (Desikachar translation)

Samadhi is a word I first met in school. I was told that samadhi is the heaven of Hindu and Buddhist religion. This have somehow stayed with me, even through yoga-teacher-training and studying philosophy at the university. Sure, I got that it was something that you could reach through meditation and that it was a release from the bondage of earth – but here the reference to heaven and my old ideas about a Christian God (which also have changed through the years) took over.

Today it feels like wakening up. Samadhi becomes a whole new landscape where I actually have some experience.

A couple of years ago I had a professor at the university who said that we cannot have any experience without educating our intellect. Without experiencing it as an subject- object relation ( a subject who’s amount of knowledge grew). This is a part of the theory of “lifelong learning” (livslang læring) and “knowledge society” (videns samfundet). This was such a provocation to me and everything I had experienced – so I started to find academically honored theoreticians who have proved her wrong. And all they said is the same as Patanjali stated here 2500 years before!!!!

Anyone who has experienced losing oneself in art/nature/challenge/meditation (both in the creating and the receiving act) has tasted this unification, that Samadhi guides us towards.

My experience with this makes it clear, that there are some situations where intellect and sensation is lost and there is no “I” and no “object”.

This is where Iyengar takes it to the next level.

“For the yogi, however, whose “art” is formless and whose goal has no physical expression like a painting, a book or a symphony, the fragrance of Samadhi penetrates every aspect of her “normal” behaviour, activities and state of being.”

My favourite example is cutting cucumber, becoming aware of the sensation, the rhythm, the beauty and suddenly it makes it self, there is only a now – nothing else matters and it is self-fulfilling.

This is it – Yes. The process and the goal of the process becomes one. Moving towards perfection and being perfect is one – not oppositions but inclusions… hmm lack of words here.

Yoga as unification and the movement towards this unification becomes one – it is already done. Like praying/searching -well aware that everything is already given/found, and knowing that the prayer/search is still right, is still a true position.

This inspires me to go for the unification in class, breath and movement, body, mind and soul, the goal and the process of moving towards it. The limbs and the core. The front and the back. The here and now! It’s essence of change, move towards perfection knowing it’s already here. Open and courage is main focus as well, taking in that I get to teach and inaugurate this new yoga-space. Bring the sunlight in – Gayatri mantra :-) love and light

Namasté
Jenni Saunte

great river of life

Sutra 2.39 "One who is not greedy is secure. (S)He has time to think deeply. His (her) understanding of himself (herself) is complete." (Desikachar translation) In me, the sutra awakens the word; “what we own - owns us”. We spend time and energy getting it, keeping it and fearing the lost of it.

Iyengar translates it into: "Knowledge of past and future lives unfolds when one is free from greed for possessions." And he points out that holding on to ones thoughts, can be possessive. We are given the guideline to shun the holding on to thoughts and material possessions.

I relate to the aspect of past and future lives, it reminds me of letting go.
To me, the concrete action, to not gather possessions (material or thoughts/stories), symbolically represents my honouring of the spiritual truth; that I actually cannot own anything and that human life and material conditions will eventually die. This sutra makes me face my mortality.

Sometimes (ok- my darker moments) I wonder if everything I experience has the purpose of making me realize that life in this human body will end. Love stories end, people, situations, conditions I love disappears. “It” hurts, but I guess what hurts is my "attempt to hold on".
Other times (my lighter moments ;-) I see a big slow great river, the stream of life, and I courageously step into it and I lay down and let it carry me - wherever.

The dark and the light stories are the same; the stories just evoke different emotions in me.
This sutra makes me think of "panta rei" -everything flows, Heraklitus statement. I've loved it since I was a teenager and heard it the first time. I thought I could see this great flow in life in glimpses.

I want to let yoga be the big river of life and my role as a teacher is to invite my students to step into the water and let it carry them :-) flow, being carried and not greedy…
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

reality and obstacles

2.12
Desikachar: “Our actions and their consequences are influenced by these obstacles. The consequences may or may not be evident at the time of the action.”
This is a big one and I can see it unfolds in the coming sutras. I think I need to make it a bit more concrete. To me, in my life and in my asana work, my prejudice and my concepts are both vitally important and big obstacles. They most certainly influence my actions and consequences of these actions.
For many years my labelling me as “weak” kept me from doing certain asanas. The concept was so strong that it overruled my experience in the asana. It was always an awakening to suddenly see that “Hey! I’m doing it!!” This is also true in other areas of my life. For a long time my concepts of a “good” and “bad” day, overruled the experience of the day. I need these concepts to communicate with other people and to relate and play with some of my minds capabilities, but I also need to let go of concepts. They are set in a way that they never express reality. Reality, for me, is richer, more personal, more nuanced, it is moving, flexible, ever changing and reality is whole, full, and dense. I am in reality and my concepts are a communication or mind- stimulating games. So, if I connect this with the last sutra, when my prejudice or my concepts solely rules my understanding of reality I need to move towards a state of meditation.
I still have Iyengar and Bouanchaud to read this weekend.
Love and Namasté
Jenni Saunte

state of meditation or reflection

2.11
Desikachar: when obstacles reappear: “Advance towards a state of reflection to reduce their impact and prevent them from taking over.”
This is a clear suggestion, Bouanchaud and Iyengar gives me the concept of “meditation” which is easier for me to use – since I’ve been calling my insane minds work "reflection" sometimes. Yesterday night, I was awake all night… thinking :-) I can assure you, it was in no way constructive, just the same thoughts going over and over. Ojojoj. Sometime this is what the process of reflection can lead me to, but never (so far) meditation.
Hmm right now, I get to see, that this “blender-brain” isn’t reflecting or meditating, rather this messy state is the obstacle, which I need to turn, my attention, away from.
I get the suggestions to pray, discuss with a teacher or do a diversion. Right now I connect to my experience with “blender-brain”, here it sometimes help to pray for me, but almost always it helps to turn my attention to something that is more concrete like do the dishes, go for a walk, mainly something active.

But when the obstacle is unexpected results, a situation that somehow threatens or teases my likes or dislikes, than prayer and meditation helps a lot. Talking, sharing with someone detached, almost always helps, in my experience.
I’ve had the loveliest experience with a person I tend to get into conflict with. He wanted to discuss a situation; he had some opinions that rose reactions in me (teased my likes and dislikes). Maybe because I’ve read this sutra, meditation, as solution, was present in my mind. I’ve told him I needed to meditate on this and that I would get back. A couple of days later, we met, and talked peacefully. For me this is an awakening! A beautiful morning glow. When agitated or in doubt, pause, turn, watch :-)

This makes me want to teach a bit more meditative, searching for “a state of…” when I really get into the judging of an asana; "I like this, want more", or "I dislike this one and I want to get out (need to go to the women’s room;-)"

Iyengar: “The fluctuations of consciousness created by gross and subtle afflictions are to be silenced through meditation.”

Bouanchaud: “Meditation eliminates mental fluctuations set in motion by erroneous impulses.”
(again suggestion; appeal to greater power, reconsideration through detachment or talking to teacher or diversion-turn attention to activity)

toward stability, consistency to question the attitude

Sutra 2.5
“False identity results when we regard mental activity as the very source of perception.” (Desikachar transl.)
Immediately I don’t get this. And checking up – what the five mental activities were in sutra 1.6 doesn’t help me, neither checking up Iyengars translation.

Iyengar translation tells me; if I identify with my senses, I get to know egoism a bit better.
Desikachar states that mental attitudes change. These two things I can relate to.
Before I had a daily practice (of anything) I surly identified more with my attitude or my feelings – I simply took it/them very seriously.
If I didn’t feel like doing something, well than something was wrong and an action had to express this feeling; to drop the commitment (haha change the boyfriend or change boyfriend) to my daily practice. But staying on the mat no matter what shows me this “feeling” is not me, it’s changing. I still sometimes has this idea that thoughts and feelings are eternal (oh I’m going to be sad/sick/happy/attracted forever… and ever) and I still get to know change, transformation and the fugitive.

This sutra inspires me to roll out my mat and put my feet on it, and see what happens. It inspires me to take a closer look at my motives and my attitudes, it guides me right back into self examination :-)
And to my programmes and teaching it guides me toward stability, consistency to question the attitude behind my approach. Maybe I just bring the book and read it out load and see if someone can tell me what it’s about.

Love, peace and clean house :)
Jenni*

include whatever

Sutra 2.5
I think I messed up the chronology of my sutras a bit, since I’ve had four of them with me this summer, but now I’m on it again.
“Misapprehension leads to errors in comprehension of the character, origin and effects of the objects perceived” (Desikachar translation).

(His examples: what at one time may appear as beneficial may turn out to be a problem at a later stage. Fool's gold is assumed to be gold. Things that change (beauty of youth) may be considered everlasting. The most important learning may, in time, prove useless)

In asana – this sutra teaches me to keep an open mind – the prayer to be set free of everything I think I know – is good for yoga-practice, because (as one of my guides told me) it’s not the things you don’t know that will kill you – it’s what you know for sure… maybe the asana isn’t about living and dying in the “American movie sense”. But my experience is that my “knowing something for sure” like “I can’t do that” kills something, maybe the power in possibilities? Maybe the energy, maybe the movement and change… Opposite I recognize that what I don’t know can take me to a place where I get to experience the unexpected, the surprising, I love surprises… (now my mind goes philosophical,, and things like “oh the asana is like life it self – a micro cosmos :-) so I move on…)

As a teacher I get to respect and see the empowerment that happen when the student follow their own tempo, breathing, and I get to see change in attitudes, bodies and minds. Respecting what I pass on can always get better, deeper, more open is humbling in the best sense of the word and when I’m there- the teaching act becomes more whole, integrated and honest.

For this week, I’m moved to work with; letting go of expectations and see what happens. To include whatever (any, all) as a starting point to travel deeper into the asana. To bring the book and read his examples.
But let’s see, right now I feel like a phoney. And I better get some sleep.

Love jenni

wisdom in the movement

Currently I’m at sutra 1.26. I still don’t read these sutras out load in my classes, because some of my students expressed fear of anything that includes the word “God”, and so have my employer.
What I do, is to tell that there are seven sutras (out of 196)exclusively given to God and the believer, and if you are a believer than practice (no matter what religion) it can help you reach the state of yoga.
Than I’ve been exploring, inspired by Bouanchaud, that we all have that absolute wisdom in everyone of us, so that was last week, this week I moved my focus to the time and God, as the source of all teaching.
I will explore the wisdom embodied in the asanas. They can be my symbol, today, of the wisdom given to me from master to student and with lineage to God. Over time the asanas have become diamond sharp, dense, direct experience; for me to discover and use. I want to focus on how beautifully the breath supports and deepens all effect, how beautifully every asana harmonizes and deepens the effect of the one before and the one to follow, becoming diamonds on a string.
Personally, the asana doesn’t only bring experience about the asana work; I learn how to live life as well. The asanas is a way for me to be in the stream of life. I recognize that I am in “essence a spiritual entity” (1.25), and this affects my teaching. Spirituality for me is more my actions than my words, so I have no conflict in not giving the word/the sutra here.
Thanks for the celebrations this Monday!
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

reflections on last week

My computer has not been able to connect and Copenhagen has been hit by hot, hot summer weather, and it actually helps me! I realized (again) that my students thought it were kind of tough on them, so in the name of ever ongoing correction; I tried to slow way down, but didn’t succeed. The weather however took the edge of every thing and made me say words like “give it up”, “let it melt”, “let go”. That was nice for me.
Today I woke up at 4 in the morning and very inspired to work on the classes we’re gonna have at “Tjärö”. Nice. I found back to some of the play-actions in meditation that we can use.
Last week I also attended many classes at other teachers, it’s soo good for me!! I discover where I’ve gone ridgid, my patterns are revealed.
I found that I’m very dynamic in my teaching, that vini-yoga have come to mean a great big deal to me. That I don’t always have to guide the relaxetion and what is this obssession I have with sunsalutations? Jaja how easy it is to fall into habits, they are so easy and the do set free time and energy – but I get to see what they do when I’m not aware, they limit my range.
So, now I’m online again :-)
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

trial and error, sutra 1.8

Sutra 1.8 states that “misapprehension is that comprehension which is taken to be correct until more favorable conditions reveal the actual nature of the object.” I love that it sets me free, in a way. I always act as truly and honest that I can. In yoga asana work, this is the ever ongoing process of correcting, getting deeper, longer, finding more and more connection and freedom inside.
Every “mistake” I do, like pulling my shoulders into my ears getting a neck tension is a pain I can lose in correcting. The correcting, or for me, improving is not headed towards a goal (only an unobtainable one) but is in itself a human condition, a human experience. Error is not bad it’s just sometimes painful and a possibility to get back into the truth, the center the ease and content. So we will do some poses to work with improvement and some viniyoga that dig deeper and deeper. Bouanchaud states that automatisms and prejudices are common reason for error; it’s my personal experience as well.
In my teachers’ education, I learned that my role was to “help” break patterns of habits in order to create harmony and balance. This is a part of my work since many years…
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

Classes

This week, my classes have been more “pedagogically correct”. I mean, I’ve looked at what we’ve been doing and followed up on some asanas and adding whats missing. But there was a theme of different kinds of sun salutations, another was hips and flexibility. But my favourite was yesterday, I let my colleague decide what my theme was going to be, she told me to work with feminine and masculine attitudes towards the asanas.
I found that I connect the masculine with the principle of abhyasa and the feminine with the principles of vairagya. More on, I found that I somehow connects the masculine with the inhalation (the active force) and the feminine with the exhalation (the passive force). I haven’t got a clue about this. I haven’t used the thoughts of masculine and feminine since I studied “bodymind” with my masters. I have to search books, friends and colleagues to see how they do it, what do you think?
I can clearly see how much integrity and attitude work there’s going on in my classes! It’s beautiful! The hunched old lady that is so much into her breath that she finishes her asana far behind all the others, but everyone loves to get to do stuff in their own time, following their own breath, it was beautiful! So much accept of the self and the other “selves” in the same room. It was a good to see how aware we all became of our own attitudes and what effect they have on us. How our attitude forms the reality that we sense. I think there is more for me to get there!

Can you experience something without putting it into a frame of meaning?

In yoga we talk about peeling off layers of understanding, so that we can get to the pure experience. In my studies, my teacher wants me to accept that we cannot experience anything without simultaneously applying meaning to our experience (therefore we always learn). I really can’t figure it out. My intellect can accept the texts I’m introduced to in my studies. But! (whole lot of buts) my truth is another. Maybe it is one of these “question of belief” issues?
It reminds me of what some yoga teachers, that had taught both in India and in western countries, told me. They didn’t have breathing exercises to western pupils, because tradition focuses on growing the inhalation (learn to recive?), and that’s what most eastern pupils need, but we are the opposite. In the west we need to learn how to exhale, (to give?). Maybe western philosophy focus on extracting meaning out of everything? While eastern let it go, and end up having more pure experience and still somehow more meaning. Yoga philosophy (so far) gives me,,,,, meaning ;)
Knowledge is wisdom put into practice
Experience has several meanings in English, two that we have separate words for in Danish. (e.g. “He gained valuable experience”,,, and “an exciting experience”).
I wonder, do you always get experienced by having experiences? I get a picture of a hierarchy; at the bottom several experiences makes you experienced, knowledge contains practicing this experience and wisdom is the sum of all the knowledge that’s put into practice. No, not working. Maybe this is to ambitious for a tired Thursday evening?
One of my mentors suggests: “knowledge is information put into practice and wisdom is knowledge put into practice”. Well, the concept of “information” kind of makes me wanna cry, but the last part seems to be a relief to think. So I’m holding on to whatever gives meaning in this extended moment.
Yes, it connects the parts! If knowledge is the collective experiences, than it would be wise to act according to these realizations.

classes

Wet, windy and grey weather cannot keep me from working with sun salutations today. Maybe the greyness will make us work in a new way? There are many new students, so I’m still putting down the basic lines, keeping it simple, good for me, good for them (?). For the next two days I think I go with, rotations and gravity.

evening

The class was fine, I’m so happy to see that my students can trust me, to tell me when I made a program that was too though as well as, when they are comfy and satisfied.
Discontent students were a major problem for me in the beginning. Than I realized that I cannot teach big classes and give everyone exactly what they need, every time-for me it’s been a long practice in letting go! I also had the impression, in the beginning, that they came because of me, and that I have to make perfect programs, well that’s over ;) Now I tend to see myself, more and more, as a mediator, mediating between them and the yogatreasure. Today I’ve been so inspired by reading some blogs. Some people write their gratitude lists, here are some of mine, from today:
Thanks for a blue sky and sun in my eyes!, for the giant windows at my work, for a calm brain, for a silent home. For not having anybody needing me! And Thanks for letting me, be in the truth of not needing another human being, knowing that I’m whole just by myself-what a beauty to rest in. I’m sure I’ve read about this in a yoga text.