A yogi's action are neither white nor black

"A yogi's action are neither white nor black. The actions of others are of three kinds, white, black and grey." (Iyengar translation of sutra 4.7)
Iyengar points out that "The unmixed action of the yogi are beyond sattva, rajas and tamas. They produce no positive or negative reactions in the consciousness and hence are free from duality". I get to be the one to see how duality expresses it self in yoga sometimes, and I'm Not attracted to it (this and this teacher say so and so,,, and this and that is right and wrong). It is really uncomfortable to sit in - so I move along. And feel release. I guess this is being safe and sound and not be part of the duality game (this time).

Desikachar points out that the "state of yoga" can lead us to "the highest state of clarity and detachment [we] can be beyond motivation" . I remember the first time I heard the stories of Mahabharata (11 years old) the meeting between Arjuna (my personal hero) and Krishna, made a lifelong impression on me. This is where Krishna tells Arjuna to be a warrior and go into battle, not to win, not to loose, not because of right or wrong, but just because this is what he is, and I think the word duty was used :-) and I could just return to this moment again and again. Today it connects to the thinking of "what's true will last" to me it's an encouragement to be what I am (it's a really smart shortcut to reality).


First thing I think, when I read the sutra is; this is an instrument to measure "what is and what is not"- yogic. If my action is neutral and undisturbed, it's probably part of living the yoga-state.
So in my asana work; if I'm undisturbed (this doesn't necessarily mean not shaking or not sweating), and not in judgment of my asana, just being and experiencing, well then it IS yoga. If I'm in judgment (comparing me to the others, or showing off or being ashamed) -then the yoga-state IS NOT.
hihi
My master just thought me that it's not about good or bad, or right or wrong, it just IS or it just IS NOT :-) so I'm complying to this suggestion.

My experience can only confirm this sutra is. And just as I wrote last week, I still long for more neutrality. Neutrality feels like heaven.

In my personal practice neutrality is often a part. I almost always feel more neutral and free when alone with asana than in a group setting. With my master the neutral yoga-state almost always is a part. When neutrality-blessing is there, I usually don't even think about it. I show up in my warm, tight woolen underwear, that really don't suit me :-) but it's easy, I live spiritual consent with my master to adjust whatever I do on my mat, so he better be able to see what's going on, and I need something warm, so... wool :-)
Last time I really could feel I lost the "state" was in Stavanger, where I just got so tired of being weak. All my expression, work and mind got unstable, by judging me as weak. It's non of my business and I get free by remaining neutral.

In the beginning (some ten years ago) I was very picky on who did what and how, but today this neutrality is more extended, sometimes things happens (body-adjustments), change appears over time, instead of trying to pull every little bit out this one class, I can see is this an expression for how this student shape is today or is it a part of a development, a change. It also works much better for me to welcome people that are late than to yell or ban them - I know most yoga-teachers do the opposite, it just is Not efficient in my experience.
In my personal practice my effort is neither black nor white but I get to be stable, by showing up on a daily basis, I get to have a daily practice by showing up every day. I get to be loving by loving my practice unfolding. I get to be amending and caring, by showing up in my practice. So, sure all three gunas are there at times, off course I'm sometime overly excited, sometime lazy (often) and sometime balanced and harmonious - but just by showing up - I'm blessed and grateful.

Namasté
Jenni

Mastery over the senses

Sutra 3.47: "Mastery of over the senses is achieved through samyama on the ability of the senses to observe their respective objects, how such objects are understood, how the individual identifies with the object, how the object, the senses, the mind and the Perciever are interrelated and what results from such perception." (Desikachar translation)


I’ve been thought to monitor and measure my body in the asana, to get deeper and clearer on what’s going on and who I really am. Well here I’m given the characteristics of mind that assist perception; heaviness, activity and clarity. So I can monitor my perception, on what characteristic is dominant at the perceptive moment. This in order to measure the influence this have on my idea of the object (reality)and perhaps manage the influence to become less so that I get more close to the truth, closer to reality.


Iyengar writes "at some stage when the senses are appeased, they and the organs of action becomes passive, and a state of quietness is experienced.” Normally this is a passing state, until the next stimuli triggers the senses and we go of hunting for more (pleasure) or trying to avoid it (pain)… But samyama on this process may set us free, from being driven by the senses and this is what this summer retreat have been about for me – getting more and more free.

I thought I was going to get inspired as a teacher and more efficient as a teacher, this might be – I have no contact to this, but there is a clear contact to the experience of getting to know me honestly, authentically and I have a clear contact to this promise of "being set free" from being driven by wants and fears.

Namasté

Jenni

heart of heart

So, I’m introduced to the seven states of yoga, given to me by Iyengar. In Patanjalis words we have:
emerging consciousness - to me recognizing my human condition and limitations – an admitting process.

restraining consciousness - to me getting a daily regular, repetitative :-) practice (think I have addressed that in last sutra writing, but it have had many forms the last 8 years, only the very last 3 years have had the form it unfolds today)

individualized consciousness – my self-examination process and joining you and others (guides, sisters and brothers on the same path as me)

consciousness – to me; a blessing that i sometime referes to as serenity, peace, fellowship or ease

attentive consciousness – for me, living prayer and meditation in the broadest possible sense of these words

fissured consiousness – for me; to experience inclusion of what is, for example being able to feel sorrow and gratitudeor even joy at the same time, being upset and serene at the same time ego and spirit, unity through fissured experiences…

pure consciousness – freedom, emancipation, neutrality and ashes (everything and nothing)

This week I chose to focus on these seven states, for some time before I move on. Iyengar also gives me Vyasas words on the seven states and I am absolutely in love with them (the first five suggestions I relate to as above):
what is knowable is known
what has to be discarded is discarded
the attainable is attained
what must be done is done
the aim to be reached is reached
untainted intelligence (no qualities can taint the intelligence) to me- placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected, our thinking is cleared... we find that our thinking will.. be more and more on the plane of inspiration
self illuminated consciousness (the knower is self-illuminated and maintains her inner light while attending to her wordly duties) spiritual experience. my experience can be uniquely usefull, .. assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things my human limitedness makes unpossible.. to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others

At last Iyengar presents the seven states in yoga Vasistas words:
right desire – my commitment to my path comes first
right reflection – engage in the process (my object of attention rubs of on me – nice to collect evidence of what I love instead of what is wrong for example))
disappearance of the mind – a blessing that comes out of the above mentioned
self realization – to know my own true self, my heart of hearts, the unfolding of authenticity in my everyday.
non-attachment - gift of process (we ceased fighting anything or anyone)
non-perception of objects - placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected.. our thinking is cleared... we find that our thinking will be more and more on the plane of inspiration
experience of state beyond words - nearness with our creator/nature/truth

Well this is enough to rumble and wrestle with.
I wonder how it will influence my teaching, I guess we just go for pure consciousness :-) and see how far we get ;-) why not.. and the rest will come out of the process moving towards this goal…
Love and Namasté
Jenni Saunte

freedom kaivalya * *

In the previous sutras I’ve found that the only purpose for me to perceive is; to perceive (2.21). And to perceive has but one purpose to clarify the distinction between my inner seer and the nature/world/objects, all the ever changing.
Now, sutra 2.25 gives me the ultimate goal of yoga practice; “As misapprehension is reduced there is a corresponding increase in clarity. This is the path to freedom.” (Desikachar translation)
Freedom, emancipation (Iyengar) or “Kaivalya”.
Desikachar gives me a starting definition of freedom. “Freedom is the absence of the consequences of obstacles and the avoidance of actions which has distracting and disturbing effects.” I try to remember a time or situation where I’ve felt free - - -

Ok, I’m back, a friend called and we talked about freedom, and both of us have the exact same experiences of being free:
- In flow experiences, these can for me happen when I do yoga, experience art (literature, pictures, movies, music, theatre, dance all the arts all!) or in nature, walking up a mountain and suddenly I am free – an experience of enormous lungs :-) unity, purpose, no thoughts or few – almost unconscious and contentment.
- In playing, when I get to arrive at a playful position in a situation I am free. This is clear especially in situations where I used to be serious like exams… my academic life turned out to last for 16 years (different kind of studies) and the last two years my exams turned from anxiety to a playground. Freedom.
- In gratitude. When I find what I am grateful for I get to arrive in freedom.
- In admitting. I was wrong or I am an ass – there is huge freedom, not that I don’t have to care, since I’m sooo bad, but in honesty and sharing it with you, I can be authentic and free.
- In release from human solution, for example “if I had a partner/if I didn’t have a partner” I would feel free. When the story of what should set me free lets go, I get set free :-)

Oh this was nice. I think I will bring this into my yoga teaching today, to connect to our experience of freedom and aim for it in the asanas.
Namasté love and light
Jenni

blessings to a wild thoughtlife :-)

2.17
“The cause of actions that perceives painful effects is the inability to distinguish what is perceived from what perceives.” (Desikachar translation) He specifies that; what is perceived changes (the mind, body, senses and objects) but there is an entity in us, that perceives. My guess is that this is something … still… the island in the river?
Or with Bouanchauds words; pain comes from confusion between the spiritual principle and the material world. To me this sentence is easy to read. To try to get “everlasting”, “comfort”, “trust”, “always” out of another human being, or a relationship… Or money, or stimulants, or work or whatever material… is confusing the material with spiritual principles.
This week all my translations give me the same, so I can use whoever.

In my asana work, this sutra inspires me to connect to the observing entity in me, not my senses, my body or the situation. This is probably why it sometimes intensifies my asana to close my eyes; I connect more to the observing entity in me. And more connection to this entity means more oneness, more intensity, like the laser ray that gets so strong by centring instead of spreading out.
In my teaching, this is why working with a theme, works for me. It gathers my teaching rays :-) and it avoids me from trying to please different yogis or do something for them (control or manipulate). It’s a more honest position for me as a teacher and it works, it really does. I guess this sutra in my private life is in the words “it’s JUST a feeling” (they pass, don’t get too attached) or “it’s JUST a thought, it’s not personal” (I’m not my every thought, my every opinion). If you could see my thoughts you would know what a blessing this sutra really is :-)
Love Namasté
Jenni

freed from attachments

2.6
Excessive attachment is based on the assumption that it will contribute to everlasting happiness.
2.7
Unreasonable dislikes are usually the result of painful experiences in the past, connected with particular objects and situations.

So this week this applies to letting go of the attachment to a special solution involving someone else. It seems so easy and nice to ask this person for help, but in the long run – I don’t experience it to be for free and for fun. My attachment to this enjoyment and the unmanageability it brings to me is clear. This sutra brings me the clarity so that I, today, to se the attachment vaporise! Thanks tak tak tak - a relief.

I still have troubles starting up my daily yoga-practice. Right now it’s in bits and parts over several hours. I guess this sutra guides me to just pick a time, let go of the idea to wait for the perfect time, than start, just call a time and pray for strength to do it at that time - free from the enjoyment and the dislike (attraction and repulsion) to decide in their fickle jenniform. I’ve tried to get up 30 minutes earlier (at 5) but I seem to be attached :-) to the bed. But now I’ve shared it, so maybe there are some we – power in that.
(I wrote this yesterday – sure of getting an early start this morning, and than I couldn’t fall asleep, and one of my kids peed in the bed and the other one came and kept me awake to 4 in the morning – so at 5 I just closed the alarm and thought “tomorrow…”)

One part of my work I hate (not the yoga work – another work-life-part) I get to know me as a resisting person; I really don’t want to do this. But here the sutra shows me a way that is not based on my “want to”. I find that there is another meaning with this certain aspect of my work life that gives me a break, a pause, that is actually enjoyable and healthy for me :-) so I keep on.

Love Namasté
Jenni – on her way to practice and teaching and singing (gayatri mantra ;) while the leafs are falling down

balancing sukha and duhka :-)

This week I’m connecting the following two sutras, that guide me into balance, by detachment from the two polarities “sukha” (pleasure, happiness, delight) and “dukha” (unpleasantness, sorrow, agony).
Attachment to the pleasurable is an attachment to an idea of how it will be in the future- based on past experience (it was nice the last time) and attachment to the unpleasant is also an attachment to the past experience, where I try to avoid for it to happen again.
Well-got it- attachment bad – freedom good :)

A couple of years ago I stopped eating sugar and chips, mainly because I thought I was kind of addicted to it, I thought it affected my mood negatively and I thought it made me fat and lazy… I stopped for over a year maybe two… Nothing happened; with the addictiveness, the mood and the health…
But – I got to know what gift of freedom comes out of giving up on a pleasure I had (sugar). Everyday there was a small sacrifice in not eating it (even though I didn’t think too much about it after a while, only when somebody invited me…) and I felt a bit more free. I also felt perseverance take form in my everyday, which was nice.

I also have an experience with letting go of pain-avoidance. It’s in my nature to try to figure out how to avoid ending up in the same bad situation again. It was suggested to me, to trust that every single situation is different and that I will be another person if challenges arise – it can’t happen again – now is all we have. Instead of trying to take care of the future by making rules (my life was full of rules) just be today in this and trust that future is taken care of. For example there was a person that I had arguments with, I tried to avoid these arguments, but all I got out of it, was an experience that “we always argue” and “I can’t take care of me”. When I stopped trying to avoid these arguments I found that I didn’t feel we fight that much, the arguments had become incidents, and I found that I could trust my instinct and I was safe and protected, I didn’t have to protect me.

In my yoga practice this is my rotation of asanas that I love, so that they don’t get stagnant and habitual. And it is my minimum one (often three) asanas that I want to avoid in my daily practice. Think I’ve addressed that earlier…

So in teaching this week I want to share about the balance between this things and I want to build programs that contains it all (yes all! Include all!) And in the asana encourage to search for the freedom from attachment!
Love and Namasté
Jenni

Desikachar translation
2.6
Excessive attachment is based on the assumption that it will contribute to everlasting happiness.
2.7
Unreasonable dislikes are usually the result of painful experiences in the past, connected with particular objects and situations.