Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Persevering practice, daily work sutra 13

Sutra 13 explores the same theme, and that’s good for me. I’m told that: “Persevering practice is the effort to attain and maintain the state of mental peace”. This message has arrived from so many different sources in my life so I’m open to try whatever is suggested! Bouanchaud tells me that it’s about setting a course in a direction, what brings me out of course can be my own inner personal leanings or outside circumstances. My only direction is, when out of course - get back! And I will get out of course, it’s ok. Today I know I’m out of course when it hurts, pain is a good indicator, or when I’m identifying with being only my mind, my thoughts or my feelings. For example, when I identify with being the “great giver” or “receiver” instead of just being… in a flow, eventually it hurts. Persevering practice can be boosting my ego or killing it. Different kind of pains follows. When it’s boosting my ego, it eventually always hurts, since the boost is “look at me-and my accomplishments”, it hurts when “they” don’t get it, or it hurts when I cannot do it. The ego kill hurts in another way, I can’t take credit for persevering practice -I’m not the one doing it, I can’t be sure that this is the right way, the only way; I’m just showing up, every single day- in spite of this. In no way can the practice be used as a tool to get credit, since it is a gift and without it I loose my serenity. I haven’t explored this with words, so I get to feel my shortcomings here…
In class I worked with the to principles of abhyasa and vairagya, to keep on trying to improve and to let go. It’s giving to me.
Jenni Saunte

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