Monday, November 19, 2012

like a rainfall of pure clarity

"The yogi who has no interest even in the highest state of evolution, and maintains supreme attentive, discriminative awareness, attains dharma meghah samadhi: he contemplates the fragrance of virtue and justice." Iyengar translation of sutra 4.29. He writes: "consciousness is washed clean of bias, prejudice and ambition, the light of the soul dawns. This is.. the fruit of the practice of yoga." I know I should be sharing some experience with this. But today my most clear experience is to the opposition of this. I observe how bias, prejudice and ambition, fear and anger (selfishness) sweeps across my thoughts and mind this day. A lot of I want I want and I don't want, I resist, I reject.. So I get to trust, I trust Patanjalis words that this state of clarity will be given to me when I follow "the recipe" of yoga-practice. However, I do have some experience to share regarding what Iyengar writes happens after this cleansing experience. Because I have had moments of clear vision, moments of pure being. "His only ambition now is to sustain spiritual health. He has purity and clarity. His personality has been transformed. He becomes humane, universal and divine." So, first I put in a lot of "she" instead all the "he", so I more easily can relate. I find that when the only thing I try to get is spiritual health, everything else is given to me. I do have experiences of my whole personality being changed, and I have seen this in many others several times. I do find that in my path, god is in the pots and the pans, the spiritual experience can come from something very, very human, like cutting cucumber, failing repeatedly, or having no power left what so ever, and being exhausted. I experience this autumn has been one long change of perspective, proportions and personality, for me and my closest. Things that was the most important in my life, where I only could see one true right way, I suddenly feel soft and open to there might be several possible ways and paths. I appreciate the metaphor of rain in Desikachar's translation: "There arises a state of mind full of clarity concerning all things at all times. It is like a rainfall of pure clarity." I know, how the world can be all clear and sharp after a light summer rain. In the same way this looks to me, it feels to have a really good practice, like being the world a warm summer day and then the rain comes; moist and soft, light rain. Namasté Jenni Saunte

Sunday, November 18, 2012

4.28 to remove past impressions

and a salutation from november 13th... sutra 4.28 Iyengar translation: "In the same way as the sadaka strives to be free from afflictions, the yogi must handle these latent impressions judiciously to extinguish them." Iyengar makes us aware of that; when there is a gap between us and the experience of unity (between the consciousness and the seer), disharmony and disturbance can arise from past impressions. Therefor it is utmost important that we remove these past impressions. Iyengar uses the word to "extinguish them". All this to be in harmony with our inner seer. Iyengar tells us that it is through practice we remove the power from these past disturbances. When I go to practice my master tells me it is through monitor, measure and manage that I get a clear practice. Well in the asana of life this turns into: awareness, acceptance and action. So, when I get aware of an old idea that have popped up, like I suddenly get afraid that I won't succeed, When I am aware of this, I need to stay with this past idea, I need to connect to my awareness and accept that I have this old idea inside of me. In this process of awareness and acceptance, it is my experience that action grows, suddenly I know what to do and the action won't be blind fixing of discomfort, but clear experience-based action. Nice. But just like Patanjali and Iyengar tells us, it is my experience that it is very important to do it right away, not wait, not give it time to grow and create bigger disturbance. Then again, if I let it grow (as if it always is my conscious choice..) well then things turns fine in a slightly different way. What I try to write is that I don't feel like Patanjali is telling me to live a rigid life of perfidy and control issues. In yoga posture practice it reminds me about how, old ideas have been in the way for years or weeks for me. An example, that is easy to talk about, is that I for two years translated the english word "arch" of the foot, into the danish word for the "outer edge of the foot". For weeks and weeks in perfect teaching situations I got the wrong instruction because of an old idea that was very insistent.. Desikachar translates the sutra: "One must never accommodate even small errors because they are as detrimental as the five obstacles." Again I'm supported in taking this seriously and act upon this immediately. Desikachar suggest us to seek help form a teacher who can see us through. This is my experience too, it is essential to move with a guide who has done the walk himself/herself. My mind is tricky and can play games with me. When I have a teacher, a guide I trust and who has my spiritual consent to adjust and respond to me. Then I get a perspective from outside me, and suddenly I get a new dimension. (like all the 3D movies these days are contingent on our two eyes having a distance between them :-) ) It can also be one or several persons I live with, people I love and appreciate and interact with brings me the possibility of a new dimension and I am very grateful to have both these persons and also my loving guide and master with me on this journey. Inspiration for practice, to remove past impressions that cause disturbance is a Main priority. To use the three "M's" or "A's" to seek awareness, acceptance and find the appropriate action, both as a student, as a teacher and in life. This is it for now. Namasté Jenni Saunte
Forgot to post, from 1. november.. :-) When we found a state of clarity, are we then beyond regression? "In the unlikely possibility of distraction from this aim, disturbing past impressions are able to surface." (Desikachar translation sutra 4.27) "Since our actions are influenced by such impressions, regression.. is still possible." 4.27, Iyengar translation: "Notwithstanding this progress, if one is careless during this interval, a fissure arises due to past impressions, creating a division between the consciousness and the seer." One of Iyengars comments; "The force of past impressions may create loopholes.. which.. disturb the harmony and serenity of oneness between the consciousness and the seer." Iyengar also gives us Patanjalis answer to what to do with these fissures - "The uninterrupted practice of yoga unconditionally vanquishes these fissures" Ok, I want to apply this to a relationship I have. In yoga we learn a linking and connecting practice, to move towards a state of yoga, a state of unity or being complete. Yoga is both the goal for the practice in form of this state and it is the movement towards this state (maybe the goal is hidden in this very movement). I think this person is sent to me in the yoga-practice of life, to get to experience this state of being complete and in inner unity (getting in contact with sides of myself through this person). So far I mainly experience the movement towards the staste, but I also experience total unity or just being in peace with me through being with this person. So this could be expressed like a rhythm or a wave-like motion (unity-separation). Applying this sutra; it is in between the experiences of unity, that my forceful past impression can come in between us, and since my past impressions influence my actions, they can create a fissure between me and my higher unity with this person. Applying also the answer of Iyengar; it is by involving in the practice of yoga (our connecting actions, the movement towards our unity) that this fissures vanquishes. Can I relate to this? Yes. It is my experience, that if I focus on the fissure - it grows. For me it works to be aware of it, to tell you all about it, to accept this impressions are there, to care for them and the hurting part of me they affected, and then take action towards moving on towards our unity in some specific way that make sense this day. In yoga I also relate, I just found a new pattern, when a teacher tells me that I should be doing something else that what I am currently able to do. I actually in my mind judge them as incompetent :-) and being wrong! Because if they were right I would be able to just do it. This happened the first time when I met my master, I told him that he was teaching it the wrong way, and that it was impossible to do some of the things, I now enjoy on a daily basis. But you see, as I move in more trust to this tradition I am a part of, these impulses only happen when there is a longer pause, for example if everyone is doing something for a long time I cannot do, or if I am used as a bad example in a long time (more than 20 minutes of a class), my focus on my own practice is interrupted, and in this interruption this past impressions turns into an action (a defense of thoughts) and these actions just... well they can absolutely disturb progression. But I have a new experience with this as well, so I was used as the bad example of how a bad back bends not should look like, my thoughts.-based on past impressions- starts to work up a defense, this defense makes it impossible for me to accept their suggestions, it only makes argumentation and position of fight possible. Suddenly I just found myself observing this.. and starting to try some of their suggestions anyway, in the asana. I almost started to laugh remembering how this is my pattern. I was set free. But the argumentation (the fissure) that had awaken was very seducing, so I have to explore if it is true. I am free to do this, because I now don't have to fight with my teachers suggestions I accept and love them and try them. And I do a small Jenni-research if there is any truth in my own inner argumentation. Namasté Jenni Saunte

Being free we gravitate towards our inner seer.

From 22nd of October - sorry I forgot to post! Sutra 4.26 Desikachar translation: a person with extraordinary clarity, "their clarity takes them to their only concern - to reach and remain in a state of freedom." So, I can use this sutra as a checking point. The question: "am I in clarity?" could be asked like this: "am I moving and focused to reach and remain in a state of freedom?". Every time I feel free, I get an urge to always be free like this. It is the most precious experience I know. I guess I feel close to everyone when I am free. It is surely interesting, how close freedom can bring us, and how isolated dependence, control or bondage can make us. The saying "holding on to love is like holding on to water, you need to keep an open hand" kind of goes for freedom as well. This sutra inspires me to explore all asana and pranayama that brings me to this clear state, some does it more than others, for me. It inspires me to search for this sensation of being free in all I do, even work, in such a busy week like this one. Even in relations where I might feel not worthy, or not good enough.. Well, these are very limiting feelings, this sutra engages me in a search for freedom and clarity also here. I like that Iyengar brings attention to the word "gravitation" in this sutra. It is very useful for me, it is a concrete sensation I can relate to, in every movement I do. I love that "gravitation" describes how we in clarity moves towards our center, our inner seer. Being free we gravitate towards our inner seer. Amazing! When I took sutra-philosophy classes, the teacher told us about dreams. One thing I remember, that relates to this sutra, is; the more content, centered and free we are, the more important will our dreams be. The more distressed, upset and out of balance we are, the less attention do we need to give our dreams. In the light of this sutra, this could go for everything in life, when centered and balanced, all I unfold, all my thoughts and actions will be expressions of my inner most self. When upset and out of balance, what I unfold is just not that important, it is a detour, but a state that needs compassion and contribution. In asana, when out of balance, I need to do whatever to get stable again. Well when in life, out of balance, serenity first. Busy week, but serenity first. Namasté