Saturday, September 26, 2009

state of meditation or reflection

Desikachar: when obstacles reappear: “Advance towards a state of reflection to reduce their impact and prevent them from taking over.”
This is a clear suggestion, Bouanchaud and Iyengar gives me the concept of “meditation” which is easier for me to use – since I’ve been calling my insane minds work "reflection" sometimes. Yesterday night, I was awake all night… thinking :-) I can assure you, it was in no way constructive, just the same thoughts going over and over. Ojojoj. Sometime this is what the process of reflection can lead me to, but never (so far) meditation.
Hmm right now, I get to see, that this “blender-brain” isn’t reflecting or meditating, rather this messy state is the obstacle, which I need to turn, my attention, away from.
I get the suggestions to pray, discuss with a teacher or do a diversion. Right now I connect to my experience with “blender-brain”, here it sometimes help to pray for me, but almost always it helps to turn my attention to something that is more concrete like do the dishes, go for a walk, mainly something active.

But when the obstacle is unexpected results, a situation that somehow threatens or teases my likes or dislikes, than prayer and meditation helps a lot. Talking, sharing with someone detached, almost always helps, in my experience.
I’ve had the loveliest experience with a person I tend to get into conflict with. He wanted to discuss a situation; he had some opinions that rose reactions in me (teased my likes and dislikes). Maybe because I’ve read this sutra, meditation, as solution, was present in my mind. I’ve told him I needed to meditate on this and that I would get back. A couple of days later, we met, and talked peacefully. For me this is an awakening! A beautiful morning glow. When agitated or in doubt, pause, turn, watch :-)

This makes me want to teach a bit more meditative, searching for “a state of…” when I really get into the judging of an asana; "I like this, want more", or "I dislike this one and I want to get out (need to go to the women’s room;-)"

Iyengar: “The fluctuations of consciousness created by gross and subtle afflictions are to be silenced through meditation.”

Bouanchaud: “Meditation eliminates mental fluctuations set in motion by erroneous impulses.”
(again suggestion; appeal to greater power, reconsideration through detachment or talking to teacher or diversion-turn attention to activity)

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