Friday, March 19, 2010

Through introspection comes end of pain and ignorance :-)

2.34 “Uncertain knowledge giving rise to violence, whether done directly or indirectly, or condoned, is caused by greed, anger or delusion in mild, moderate or intense degree. It results in endless pain and ignorance. Through introspection comes end of pain and ignorance.” (Iyengar translation) Today “uncertain knowledge” means jennis-ego-filters in between reality and me. When I relate more to my story of what’s going on than just be part of reality. "Ignorance" means being asleep, not awakened to reality.

Greed often sound like “I want…”, “I want more, there is not enough, I will feel better when there is some put aside for hard times” :-)
I know greed in all kinds of forms: never enough money, time, or never enough love or how about enough safety, security, energy, health, strength, flexibility, respect, love and so on… Even yoga :-) I want more… yoga. The ego-greed filter, that gives an uncertain knowledge of truth and distance to reality.
Anger affects my judgement, well to me this sentence says that when angry I tend to focus more to what I tell myself about a situation, than experiencing what is – gives uncertain knowledge.
Delusion is especially hard :-) no, that’s not true, they are all though and I agree they lead to endless pain all of them, but this night –delusion- just seems so hopeless, I’m really screwed here.. Haven’t you tried for example to “let go” of something you never had, like letting go of an ex lover – like you ever “had” him/her!!! Off course it’s hard to let go :-) or letting go of “controlling the future” how tomorrow’s work or tomorrow’s situations will turn out – that’s a tough task, to let go of the control I never had. Delusion makes it clear to me how much I need a greater power (to me reality), surrender, practice, guidelines and you, my fellow travellers :-) Because when I’m in delusion, I never know it, delusion: “implies an inability to distinguish between what is real and what only seems to be real, often as the result of a disordered state of mind” (Merriam Webster dictionary).

I can have this in my asana work, if I get greedy, to become good fast, or to be able to do more than what is healthy (put in to many asanas in my daily practice) my body starts to hurt.
If I get angry on my body for not doing what I want it to do, I often end up in pains, or if I’m angry when I do yoga, I don’t connect and it all becomes superficial, and only gives me uncertain knowledge – not real connection - if I don't fall and break something, just by being distracted. If I’m deluded about what I’m doing, I easily can get hurt; by repeatedly place my body in unhealthy positions.

Therefore it’s is so giving to do it together with you, to have one (or several) masters, teachers who follow me, and reminds me to connect and be aware when I stray. It helps to read the sutras and to be given guidelines, so that my delusion is put in perspective and not holding the steering wheel.
And to look in to me, into my experience and meassure :-) do inventory or self-examination.
To search for reality, no; to unfold reality through introspection, are my guideline for yoga classes and my week.



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