Saturday, August 28, 2010

every end is a new beginning...

We are at the end of chapter 2 :-) and I’m at the end, having my last class at my old work-place and at the same time moving into the newborn yoga-space at
The last sutra 2.55 “Then the senses are mastered” (Desikachar translation), can seem so little, but oh! What a long way to go – to let go of the “needs” and the “must haves”, the “I don’t wanna” and the “it hurts”.
But when it all is done – by the practice of yoga, then this sutra promises us total freedom from being driven by our senses. “The senses cooperate in the chosen enquiry instead of being a cause of distraction.” (Desikachar)
Chapter 2 have brought up the self inventorying, the practice of the body and the breath, the art of living together in society and the cleansing acts to impurities. How to get focused and how to maintain balance.
Now we can move toward “the internal quest of yoga” (Iyengar)

Maybe that’s the walk of the last seven years of teaching… From construction work, in some kind of control trying to build up poses, to go for the nuances, to let go of the control and be of service to the group as a teacher, to discover how impurities –wrong sayings, tensions or disturbance from outside (or my head) – get cleansed, not by me, but by focusing into the practice we are working with –right here right now!
More and more the nuances appear to me, the subtle differences that make a world change.
More and more I get to step into a certainty of teaching, which is evolving through me and to be a god enough teacher is perfect(tak Winnicot). Always improving is true, not a threat, a promise of there is more :-)

Things are changing in so many ways for me, and I can’t control them, I can’t fix them and it’s not about me. It just is. Welcome!

I wish I could tell you that “I” control my senses – this is just not my experience. I do relate to this sutra, as a sadakha (aspirant) I feel that yoga, the power of daily practice and the power of this practice masters my senses. That my senses follow along and I become more whole, more unified.
But I know several yoga-teachers that have the experience that they can master their senses – to this I say: “beautiful!! – good on you!”

Being free is my focus. Every ending is a new beginning is my focus and this is written to you with paint-spots on my fingers – from painting the lovely yoga room, where we can meet and get access to some of this caring, harmonious power of yoga!
Jenni Saunte

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