Sunday, September 30, 2012

towards meditation and stillness

sutra 4.23 "Consciousness, reflected by the seer as well as by the seen, appears to be all-comprehending." So first of all I need to pass on an instruction, Iyengar tells us it makes sense to read sutra 4.22-25 as a group. So I did. I hope you will too, because they really are very sense-making as a group. The very first two sentences makes me stop and think. 1. "Consciousness, being in conjunction both with the seer and the seen, appears to an average individual to be all-pervading, omniscient and real." The state of all-pervasion is the best I ever felt, when everything makes sense and everything fits and my sight is completely clear - I feel so blessed like and enormous expansion. This just explains my great need to experience a "shared reality" with other people. When I feel like we're on different pages or I feel like I don't understand or they don't understand, I feel a longing for a shared reality. On the other hand, when I meet someone who I just have a level of intuitive understanding and someone I share a common experience of the world with, I easily feel a spiritual expansion, like my limits just dissolve and the "I" becomes unimportant and something bigger arises.. Hard to explain. I am landing at this place of "it all comes together" again :-) 2. "When one is cultured and purified, one realizes that consciousness has no existence of its own but is dependent on the seer." So we're on a journey to become more real. Instead of identifying with the ego or the consciousness we are on a journey to get to know something more real, more stable, more authentic. But as a loved one pointed out, it is not a journey that takes distance from or leaves ego and human desires and fear behind, it is a journey that is all-inclusive. In these days I find that I have very few words to pass on my experience or my knowledge, I am at a place where I thrive being a beginner and a novice. I am the most loved and contributing novice I've ever been :-) and I love being new and I feel loved being new.. Iyengar explains the relation between consciousness, nature and soul. It reminds me of an explanation a loved one told me about how ego, self and soul are related, just different use of concepts. See, I'm used to that the different teachers my greater power sends me, uses different words or concepts. The important thing for me, is the usability of what I understand, I seem to be done with trying to compare or try to find out who is right... In this field at least :-) I just see connections and contributions. I sense what is most close to my inner truth and most useful to bring light to the puzzle of my life. Anyway, Iyengar tells me that the consciousness is the bridge between the nature (our changing, limited and pluralized human existences) and soul (free from influence, the seer, changeless). The purification process is one that takes the consciousness from being disturbed/identified with (reflecting)all it sees and senses, to being identified with (reflect)the inner seer. Iyengar uses the picture of a stormy water, where the waves are identifying as single waves, but when the storm is gone, the pure nature of sea unfolds as one big being, without the nature of waves or motion ever was wrong or should be judged.. They just were, and now they are still in a new clear, pure form. This sutra means a lot to me. I hear my yoga-masters words so clearly in Patanjalis words. This is what I hear him tell me again and again. I feel a movement towards meditation and stillness. I feel a movement to live in and to express the truth of my heart. I am so in love, in love with it all. It is overwhelming. Namastè jenni

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