Sunday, November 18, 2012

Forgot to post, from 1. november.. :-) When we found a state of clarity, are we then beyond regression? "In the unlikely possibility of distraction from this aim, disturbing past impressions are able to surface." (Desikachar translation sutra 4.27) "Since our actions are influenced by such impressions, regression.. is still possible." 4.27, Iyengar translation: "Notwithstanding this progress, if one is careless during this interval, a fissure arises due to past impressions, creating a division between the consciousness and the seer." One of Iyengars comments; "The force of past impressions may create loopholes.. which.. disturb the harmony and serenity of oneness between the consciousness and the seer." Iyengar also gives us Patanjalis answer to what to do with these fissures - "The uninterrupted practice of yoga unconditionally vanquishes these fissures" Ok, I want to apply this to a relationship I have. In yoga we learn a linking and connecting practice, to move towards a state of yoga, a state of unity or being complete. Yoga is both the goal for the practice in form of this state and it is the movement towards this state (maybe the goal is hidden in this very movement). I think this person is sent to me in the yoga-practice of life, to get to experience this state of being complete and in inner unity (getting in contact with sides of myself through this person). So far I mainly experience the movement towards the staste, but I also experience total unity or just being in peace with me through being with this person. So this could be expressed like a rhythm or a wave-like motion (unity-separation). Applying this sutra; it is in between the experiences of unity, that my forceful past impression can come in between us, and since my past impressions influence my actions, they can create a fissure between me and my higher unity with this person. Applying also the answer of Iyengar; it is by involving in the practice of yoga (our connecting actions, the movement towards our unity) that this fissures vanquishes. Can I relate to this? Yes. It is my experience, that if I focus on the fissure - it grows. For me it works to be aware of it, to tell you all about it, to accept this impressions are there, to care for them and the hurting part of me they affected, and then take action towards moving on towards our unity in some specific way that make sense this day. In yoga I also relate, I just found a new pattern, when a teacher tells me that I should be doing something else that what I am currently able to do. I actually in my mind judge them as incompetent :-) and being wrong! Because if they were right I would be able to just do it. This happened the first time when I met my master, I told him that he was teaching it the wrong way, and that it was impossible to do some of the things, I now enjoy on a daily basis. But you see, as I move in more trust to this tradition I am a part of, these impulses only happen when there is a longer pause, for example if everyone is doing something for a long time I cannot do, or if I am used as a bad example in a long time (more than 20 minutes of a class), my focus on my own practice is interrupted, and in this interruption this past impressions turns into an action (a defense of thoughts) and these actions just... well they can absolutely disturb progression. But I have a new experience with this as well, so I was used as the bad example of how a bad back bends not should look like, my thoughts.-based on past impressions- starts to work up a defense, this defense makes it impossible for me to accept their suggestions, it only makes argumentation and position of fight possible. Suddenly I just found myself observing this.. and starting to try some of their suggestions anyway, in the asana. I almost started to laugh remembering how this is my pattern. I was set free. But the argumentation (the fissure) that had awaken was very seducing, so I have to explore if it is true. I am free to do this, because I now don't have to fight with my teachers suggestions I accept and love them and try them. And I do a small Jenni-research if there is any truth in my own inner argumentation. Namasté Jenni Saunte

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