consciousness and thinking and sutra 1.4

The 1.4 yogasutra tells me that unless “I” rest in this “seeing entity” I will easily identify with the activities of my mind.
It’s been the greatest awakening for me to discover that I’m more than my intellect, my thoughts, feelings, opinions and even more than my physical appearance. I love my body and it often is a shortcut for me into the meditative state that is yoga.
Kitaro Nishida gave me the words if this in his book “An inquire into the good”. In my understanding he describes how the intellect, the analytical skills we have is a separating power which allow us to classify and recognize maybe also remember (don’t exactly remember… :), it separates us from an object. And our consciousness is a unifying power, when we experience the world with our consciousness we are one, there is no object. He also describes how both intellect (I think he calls it thinking) and consciousness can evolve.
I’m so grateful to him for these words!
Get back on track jenni! Well I guess this sutra just deepens the need to explore my true identity, as the seeing entity, and minding even more my own work in the here (my mat) and now. Today’s class will continue on what we started last Saturday and I guess so will Sunday and Monday, but for me there is a meditation on staying in me, here and now not comparing me to others and exploring to have emotions, feelings and opinions not being them.
Instead of playing the role of “wanting”, “judging” or “needing” –
Loving what is!!
Namasté
Jenni Saunte

State of ease and rest, sutra 1.3

My mind is wondering, strolling happily ever ongoing towards whatever object pops up. Annoying. But it turns into a great material for my meditation on being here and now. Several different teachers, from very different areas in my life, have told me that meditation is the ever ongoing process of “getting back”, “return” so I guess I’m grateful for the possibility to practice this :-)
Monday’s class had another focus, we worked on flexibility, stretches and it gets so clear that, for me, it’s the same as working with my love for being human, for having limitations, what a difference to work with stretches and loving the limit instead of fighting it.
I also found that balance poses, for me, contains the essence of the 1.2 sutra, of being balance, outlived focus.
Sutra 1.3 tells me that; “With the attainment of focused mind, the inner being establishes itself in all its reality”. This relates to my experience of “I’m not my feelings, my opinions or my doing… I love how the word Drashtuh is translated to inner being, seeing entity and witness! So when I work with focus I get to experience my true nature, I’m the one observing Jenni having opinions, feelings… I do get this in my meditation and in my daily yoga practice; it’s a great restful, soft and easy place to be. I can get there by letting go, into stillness of a stationary asana or by real dynamic strength demanding work.
Maybe something provocative is good? To get to experience the opinions, so that we can experience our true nature besides these? I guess I will do both stationary and dynamic asanas.
Peace and love
Jenni :-)

Heart and the 1.2 sutra

The second yoga sutra defines yoga as an ability to direct and focus mental activity. This sutra has for a long time had a consequence for my classes, since I’m more inspired to teach if I use a focus for the class. When I was newly borne teacher my focus often was a physical feature, like the hips or the shoulders or a movement principal like forward bends or inversions. But the more I worked and grew spiritually, these physical themes got more connected to spiritual principals (for me) like “letting go” (detachment), non violence (ahimsa) or being here and now. The second sutra tells me why these themes work so well. It’s like the stream of thoughts and opinions pointing in all directions, gets quiet and wakeful by focusing on an object. Even when this object is a principal or an experience in the body.
Yesterday I cut tomatoes and my thoughts were on my friend’s situation and my mind produced a load of opinions. I had just prepared my meditation on the second sutra and I started to pray “I’m cutting tomatoes” again and again. It works!!! I get centered and into being, just by focusing on what already is - in the now.
This weekend my focusing point will be the heart, connecting and unfolding and letting it lead.
It’s not better or worse than any other focusing point, as far as I’m concerned. But this is what comes to me in meditation and in listening to people in my everyday.
Serenity and love
Jenniananda

The yogasutras

With inspiration from T.K.V. Desikachar and Bouanchaud I’ve decided (for today-I’m so limited) that my yoga classes will be an exploration of the sutras, one at a time. My spiritual path is the most practical and most grounded experience I’ve ever had. I always thought that it would be the big “out of body” or “burning bush” experience, I’ve had some of these as well, but what I love is what shows up and is in my every day.
So that’s why I take a sutra and unfold it into my yoga class asanas, letting go of the idea, that I have to go to India and become mahatmajenni before I can start to even touch these, for me spiritual principles, sutras.
The first sutra has two consequences for my class, partly I want to get in touch with “why am I here” my prayer for this class (I am living prayer) landing in the here and now, which is my second consequence for the class, I have to stay on my mat, minding my practice and I have to be in constant connection with now. It is, for me, practicing the principle of “shtira” being aware, alert and steady. I love that both Desikachar and Bouchaud gives me that I start in God. I’m not the source of the experience my students have of yoga, I’m just a tool, that’s sane perspective to me.
My own meditation is not controlled by me, I let go and to my surprise, my meditation this week have mainly been on limitedness of human form, which is somehow soothing and amending to myself.
Serenity and love jenni

Being part of

This weekend my classes will explore the spiritual discipline of being whole, complete, an entity. A wholeness of limbs and a wholeness of body, mind and spirit. And in this way being a part of (not part from,,) something greater than “I” for me a spiritual sense of “we”.
I work with this partly by integrating the “body ends” fingers, toes and top of the head. Being breath, spine and heart in every asana. But also by unfolding the individual tempo, to respect integrity. I find that when I respect my limitations, my tempo, it becomes easier to be part of … so many human interactions.

Confirmation as fuel ;-)

The bija mantras were amazing to work with, I love to stand and listen to the beauty of the voices in the yoga room. Maybe it was to cross a line for some of my students, to use their voices so integrated in the yoga work. I never asked, so I hope I remember to do that this weekend. In my other project we’re close to deadline, there is a lot to do, it effects my yoga teaching to get more dynamic (again,,,) I ,suddenly, find that the clock is a great tool for not speeding the tempo up, and I always plan some of the big slow positions. But I think it’s good that teaching changes following were we are as human beings, dynamic is good. Changing is a fact I’m just giving in to it. As if I have a choice to be anything but honest.
My meditation and prayer is founding itself in my breath. I breathe in, to receive and to listen, to meditate. I breathe out, I give, I let go, to talk, to pray. I breath in that everything I need is already given I breathe out what shall be given through me. When I no longer feel the burden of responsibility for oh, soo many things, I suddenly get to be free. My work load is as big as ever, but I’m somehow not the one carrying anymore, how amazing! I always thought I had to,,, Today I just meet up in the next action as open minded as I can.

Meditation and bija mantras

Now I felt that my classes (or I) were ready to try something new. So I have decided to make a mini-meditation in every class for a while. I am on third week doing some asanas with the bija mantras, It started with the mantra lam, which I accidentally introduced at easter day, my insides were smiling when we sang “Lamlamlamlamlamlamlamlam” and many of us went home to eat,,, lamb (which in Danish is pronounced the same way).
Yesterday it was about the long lines, (moon rays in my head) so we did the moon salutation, the headstand and some lengthening side-stretches.
My own practice is also moved towards meditation, on a daily basis, and my head can really spin on that event. First it goes “Yes, discipline, control, find the right way” than it turns on itself and goes “Everything can be meditation, the meditative state is given and can’t be controlled, it is always my possibility, I’ve probably done a whole lot of meditation today without even thinking about it”. Than the spinning feeling starts.
So I stick to what I experienced before, “don’t think- just do”.
Easy does it.Namasté
Jenni

Gunni Martin

It’s been an interesting weekend, and week! I’ve joined the fellowship of yoga teachers for a three hours workshop with Gunni Martin who is one of the yogis who introduced yoga to Denmark. Personally, the most interesting thing were her thoughts on meditation, she confirmed what I’ve heard so many times, that it’s a god thing to have a teacher, at least until you are lead by the “force”, “jesus-force/power”. Because, she tells, it’s the law of nature, that the human ego will interrupt the meditative state every second seconds, that's a lot!!! She told about different meditation styles she had been working with, I only recognized zen-meditation, never heard about urduf (or however that should be spelled) and only a childhood memory of something called ajab ajab, but not sure of how that should be spelled ouot either. I don’t succeed in finding anything on the web, so if someone have some information on this I would be grateful. I have lots to tell, but I have classes now, so I will have to come back. Peace and love
Jenni

Cleaning windows

I grew up with a friend who played the ukulele and one of my favorite songs was “when I’m cleaning windows” by George Formby.
Today I’ve had a perfect day cleaning my bedroom window; nobody gets to enjoy it but me. (I used to , only clean the windows when guests were coming, and sometimes only the windos they would see :)When I started my spiritual journey, I never thought this would be the result. I aimed for something in the “out-of-the-body” category. I’m not quite sure what exactly, but instead I find myself getting more and more into my body finding truth and ease there. If somebody told me I would get to like to clean windows or the kitchen floor, I would have walked away. I’m soo glad nobody told me anything. I guess that when the self don’t fill the whole space, it’s more interesting to be alone and doing things that don’t involve my mind so much is now more enjoyable. Sometime my mind tells the story of “Jenni – you’ve got to change, got to do more” even with my daily yoga practice. It’s got to be longer, more evolving or fix me somehow. But I stick to what’s working and for the first time it’s continuous. By sticking to it, I get to experience the changes in me, by not arguing and changing ever so often, I get to experience how fickle the mind is and how reliable my heart is. Beauty!
Tomorrow is the “to be new” yoga event. The place I teach has promised inversions, pranayama and a meditation. That will be a challenge! I’ve only got 2 hours.
The little (event-) seed that’s been growing says; that it will be about pranayama (regenerating-to be new-power of breath) and simple series to get to experience how we are new- with every breath we take.

Integrity

I think it was two years ago, when I first got to know Desikachar, I started to make a big deal about doing things in your own tempo, it grew into “doing things in the tempo of your own breath”. Now I see the fruits of this in my yogis, when I look at their bodies it's like looking at integrity. More and more trust in the moment and respect of one self. I feel it affect me. I need to respect our diversity, not lead, not change - just trust.
Something else is that I’ve fallen in love in the fact that I’m aloud to say “I don’t know” and “I was wrong” nothing is so liberating and filling me with innocents as these two statements (today).
So my classes have been about integrity and being whole this weekend. Sometimes I’m surprised that they do what I say! I forget that in this game we have different roles. I feel so privileged to learn from watching them work on the mat. Have you ever tried to look at someone’s feet and than said the wrong word, like; “lift your feet to the heart”, instead of the hand? I do that, and it just makes my day, I love what comes out, I love to laugh and so does my yogis. We just really enjoy ourselves.
Happy Easter holidays.
Namasté

humming bird

I’m so grateful for my strong back. It carries me safely (I am safe and protected) into the big backbends and I’m not a kid any longer. This morning I woke up with a weird feeling, a pain, in my body. I went to a yogaclass at a friends place (Hamsa) I usually don’t have much time to take classes, just give classes and minding my daily practice, but today I needed to fill up. It was nice, I tried to move on with my day afterwards, but my body stopped me; telling me to pay attention. So I did. It was summing, or humming filled with presence, life. Nothing should be altered or changed, just some stillness and experience of the moment.
We have made a new blog to this semesters course-project in “knowledge management” I’m so glad to work together with two students this semester, it’s a lot of fun and play.
My head is filled with ideas for the summer-retreat and also some ideas for the event about being new – Easter Monday.
Namasté
Jenni

thoughts on thoughts

I’m surrounded by thinkers, and I really get it. When I suddenly gets something it’s such an incredible ego boost.
Thinking, thinking, thinking, and somehow, no matter how bright those thoughts are, it’s still just thoughts. My thoughts can make me crazy; they can tell me that they are me! - That there’s nothing else. I really loved Descartes, with his “cogito ergo sum” but, yoga teaches me something else.
Thoughts, feelings are rising into a crest and breaking on the shore of the spirit.
It’s in the doing that I live, in my breath, my heartbeat, my limitations and possibilities. In the doing, no matter if its asanas, domestic work, studies. I can reverse all this and go the opposite way, but today I find serenity in the doing (and in the doing of non-action).
“It's IN THE DOING, IN THE DOING that we find
A certain way that we can live our lives
And OBTAIN some peace of mind” (Van Morrison)
Namasté Jenni

I’m soo tired!

My whole back is like a lodge, just ,,, still.
This week classes have evolved around “Na ma ha” (to honour). So I guess I honour my human condition “tired” right now, by loving the feeling and not trying to force it away. Today I met with my colleagues, and I always get so much inspiration out of that, I get in contact with something inspiring inside me. We talked about how some movements we just do, and other we just dictate. For me one of the Tibetan sun salutations is a “do’er” while most other sun salutations I show once – at the most and than just dictate. Sunday’s class were filled up with yogis that have taken classes for a long time, so concentration was dense! We did four different headstands, I just love the effect of the headstands. Now, my tired but and I will drag us down into a car, and let my dear friend drive me around, while we listen to,, probably Van Morrison or some lovely music.
Music has meant a lot this week, I finally found energy again in music, it came to me in “And it stoned me”, it was like I was a fighting little puppy, and the music just rolled me over and suddenly my belly was up, I had surrendered and the fight was over. Nice.
Namasté jenni

What a week!

Ambitions surely have been faced. My oldest daughter has had two birthday parties, one for her school class and one for family. In my head this events gets the time that the guests are here. That’s soo not the reality, they take loads of time.
I don’t like to be the only responsible one – but I am.
I don’t like to set aside my studies – but I have to.
I don’t like prioritizing – but I get to.
Obviously this is the blessing of the week.
I get to look at my priorities, and act on them.
I get to let go of the idea of “doing everything”.
I get to be the responsible person that I sometime can be. I grow with this.
My daughter loved her birthday. It’s all good!

Today is yogaday, I am following up on last weeks viniyoga treat, and reintroducing ashtanga yoga’s sun salutation A. I think a lot of the movement’s that shows up in my programs right now is about energizing the body. I still talk a lot about “attach not, resist not and judge not”. But today the focus landed on “resist not” in form of; not fighting anyone or anything. An example from my own life is; when my older daughter criticise all the words of her kid sister – I do not fight it, I do not criticise her for doing that. Slowly the recognition grows in me, that I love to be (and I am) the person that don’t criticise. That’s what makes me happy. And after some time I can tell this to my kid, instead of telling her that what she do is wrong. Well that’s one way that yoga comes into my life, and I’m soo grateful.
Namasté Jenni

What’s going on,,

Here and now, today, the ideas of “resist not-“, “attach not-“ and “judge not-“ is summing around in my mind, which doesn’t really help :)
My heart tells me, that even if they seem like wonderful, unobtainable principles, they are not the goal! They just sweep the arena for something else. BEEING! Maybe meditation?

It’s been a hard working fall (look at me producing a story,,) My academic finals went great, my working skills were confirmed as valuable, but as a spiritual person or as a mum, I sucked.
I was there, but that was kind of it. So now I quit one of my works, and off course it’s not the yoga. Yoga has become a work in which I evolve not only my bodymind and spirit, but (I never saw this coming) my intellect as well. So that’s a beauty!
Today’s lesson is collecting up what we’ve started last couple of weeks and introducing a new viniyoga move. I also have started to plan the summeryoga course, at the blog: http://sommeryoga.blogspot.com/
Namasté love Jenni

yoganu yoga now

My yoga practice is a lot about one breath at a time. I also want to tell everyone about how everything already is perfect, all we have to do is to see that! So I guess I just really enjoy these words coming out of my mouth, or right now out from my fingers.

Everything is already perfect; I just have to see it.

I can improve my practice by looking at how perfect it is - the way it is today. It’s not supposed to be in any other way.
Beauty!

working woman

Man! A week just went by, and it felt like,, closing and opening my eyelids. Speaking of eyelids, I’m exhausted, tired and soon of to bed. I don’t want to, because it’s just not normal to be tired this early. So here I am, fighting it, with your help. Yep! You are responsible ;)
I’ve tried two new things this week (actually much more than two, but theese two were big) I’ve been representing my university at an educational market, fair kind of thing. To sell,,, well I can get better at that. The other thing was to be a part of introducing a semester and the courses, to all the students on that semester, even though not exactly everyone came. But it was like “crossing over” no matter how small, I suddenly stood there, by the microphone (not drawing pictures in my book at my bench). Jaja (as we say in Sweden) I did learn something, thanks to this job and my studies, about being in the now. And I’m grateful for that.

Relatively brain-dead

Yesterday I managed to think “I’m so grateful that I’ve been given such a strong creative power” and the next thought “I don’t have a clue about what I’m gonna teach this weekend…” I went to bed, sure that it would come to me this morning. But hey! Here I am,, still haven’t got a clue. So maybe I will open a book for some inspiration, and look at what we did last week, and build on that. Let’s see..

Cultural theory

My courses this semester have started in the best possible way. After weeks with rain and grey weather, we met at the “sea” in the middle of Copenhagen, to take a walk by the water and look at modernism and post modernism or what have happened the last 40 (150) years in this part of the city. The sun came and it turned into a rather long walk. We were supposed to take a bus home, but we couldn’t find it so I walked and I got to really stretch my legs, I could feel my legs the day after, as heavy grounded roots. That’s a good feeling and I got to hear about my coming teachers ongoing research projects, which was interesting. I love to have engaged teachers, it makes everything more exciting. It correlates to my reality that my reading and working matters. And as I concluded before, unity is a nice, contented feeling.

eternity in my movements

In my daily praxis I feel the circular movements clearly.
I’ve been telling my students to ”turn the movement into a meditation of ex the hip”. When I do that my self, what I actually do is to let go into a flow, that always contains a circular pattern. Even the straightest “back and forward” movement have a circular movement often in the joint, the bone makes a beautiful circular pattern, for me to enjoy when I seem to move “back and forward” on the outside.
How lucky am I!? to have a work where I actually get to say: “create a sun around your heart”. Hmm I might just as well say “enjoy the sun around your heart, I’ll try that out next time.

Love

This week I want to explore love, with the help of yoga :) Lets be ambitious! But I’m actually serious, I’ve tried it before, to move and do, with a loving mind and get a beautiful reward; awareness of my loving nature.
Joseph Campbell said “People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances without own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”
I can relate to this. I don’t want to understand love, I want to experience it. I want to be self providing, and I know I already am. Beautiful. Free me from the object and let me just be,, love.
Maybe this is one of these summer (inner) romance things,,, ?!

Yoga exploration

My classes, this week, will be about exploration, I can use my exploring skills, both from yoga and my studies to teach them to explore with an open mind. I’m looking forward to it!
So all I have to do is,,, to find some asanas that you can stay in for a while. I know some people do yoga where they stay forever in every asana, that’s not me, at least sot recently :)

Dynamic

Lately my classes have gone dynamic. It tends to be that way when I’m in a stressful situation, like close to deadlines and a lot of work in other areas of my life.
We have been doing a lot of different sunsalutations, lots of standing asanas and loads of dynamic entrances to classical hatha asanas. Its ok, it kind of keeps me sharp and in the moment. Maybe my dance training shines through when I’m on autopilot,, ? To get some balance in this I made some classes, where they got down on the floor almost in between every asana, working mentally with the poses.
My own daily practise is influenced by Lauren Peterson, I’m just grateful to have a daily practise, it’s been one of these long “search my soul” journeys for me; to find what’s appropriate for my everyday and accept that I can’t do as much as before I have two kids and we live alone, so I’m just happy to have found my way, for the time being.

An experience and playfulness

Yes, Camilla prodded me to tell about my project. I proudly delivered a 187 pages long essay about experiences. Or more exactly, how to create a room that contains possibilities, for the visitor, to get an experience. You can read it here! If you saw my face, you would laugh,, I just have this grin! Like a cat who caught the rat… This project has given me a contented feeling. I have been a little girl playing with ideas and my group have been amazing, our last meeting, we wore crazy hats and a wig. I’ve also enjoyed my ability to structure my work, so that my parts are done, way before deadline, and this in a group that have another feeling of time. I found time to do my yoga work and being with my kids and not losing sight of my greater power all that much. So I give myself an A. And more, I consider my own grading as my reality. How I love reality, and owning, being and loving what already is! Two semesters ago, I had the blues after my exams for five days, last semester I had something like three days of blues. This semester I’ve had,,, NONE! I’ve been tired and I slept. I haven’t had energy to plan exciting things, so I haven’t planned anything. After a week I reread my essay, and I still liked it! I see this whole grade-thing as a game we play. There is so much love in playing. When I can find my playfulness and bring it into my work (all three works) I’m a more loving and living fellow human being. I’m so grateful that I chose this subject for my essay, where I could use my yoga philosophy as a guideline. I could actually use my body experiences to understand theoreticians writing at a high abstract/intellectual level. I also could chose to listen to my body experience and by opening my mind see the theoreticians that could explain and thereby be used to support my own inner knowledge. Beautiful

new job

Today is my first day at my new job! Exciting!
I actually never had a first day before :)
I’ve always been in such a rush, to become one of the oldies, that I kind of jumped over the start, well, that is also a story of not, having started at a new job for,,,,,hmm,,, something like,, 8 years! Suddenly I feel old;)
And yoga doesn’t count, I’m just me there.
I better go now, not to get late.
(It’s called to be a “study counsellor”, but al I know so far, is that we don’t counsel hihi)